I’m all…. jabberwocked.
Woke up mummy brained. The sleep came in two-point-five hour increments, which to a brighter person would indicate a need to hydrate. I woke each time an organ atrophied, confused and terrified about an evil ostrich lurking in the dresser.
My subconscious has some explaining to do.
Me: What’s the deal?
Subconscious: Where shall I direct your call, please?
Me: I’d like to speak to the manager.
Subconscious: Please stand by for a list of departmental extensions. Dial zero at any time to speak with an operator.
Me: *initiates gag reflex*
Subconscious: Hello, Dave.
I’m going back to bed.