Damn Yankees

I’m all…. jabberwocked.

Woke up mummy brained. The sleep came in two-point-five hour increments, which to a brighter person would indicate a need to hydrate. I woke each time an organ atrophied, confused and terrified about an evil ostrich lurking in the dresser.

My subconscious has some explaining to do.

Me: What’s the deal?

Subconscious: Where shall I direct your call, please?

Me: I’d like to speak to the manager.

Subconscious: Please stand by for a list of departmental extensions. Dial zero at any time to speak with an operator.

Me: *initiates gag reflex*

Subconscious: Hello, Dave.

I’m going back to bed.

8 thoughts on “Damn Yankees

  1. A need to hydrate? That is why I wake up at 3ish every morning? I always thought it was because I had to go search the car/rabbit/cat I misplaced in my dream. My subconscious is even more forgetful than my conscious. Hydration you say? I might try that.

    Good luck with the ostrich.

  2. You realize you’re making it tough for jamokes with broken iPods to navigate this, yeah? On the other hand I can be pretty motivated, broke or not.

  3. Big glass of water before bedtime. Glass of water by your bedside. And yes, pee when you wake up.

    If you’re waking at the same time each night, try changing something at bedtime, or perhaps your bedtime. Even going to bed 20 minutes earlier or later may break that cycle.

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