Passing thought

If I were going to be with someone
I guess I’d be with you.

I’d have to unlearn the ways of solitude, I suppose,
and meld my skin against something
more solid than the steadfast dark.

But to take your small sips of mellow observation-
for that, and other small occasions,
maybe I’d change.

Pulling pants on in the bleak, chill morning,
seeing how your hair settled and arranged
around eyes too old
for a heart-shaped face.

Watching you take it in
the way you must have taken it in at age 5-
thinking, weighing, deciding-
choosing to be silent. Feeling the kindness in that
as I sidle apologetic
through your door.

There’s such a wait in you, such a patience;
such an assured thing, but I feel your delicate,
your parent wisdom
set among bird-feather bones.

I will bring you home flowers
to bemuse you.
We’ll eat soup.
I’ll show you what I’m good at.

In an odd moment
I can let go of who you could have been
and who I could have been,
for in the odd moment
I’d be admiring of
what we seem to be.

I mean,
what we’d seem to be If I was with you, because

I guess I’d be with you
if I were going to be with someone.

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4 thoughts on “Passing thought

  1. You are such a talented writer, a. You write so clearly–by which I mean that I feel as though I understand *exactly* what you are saying and feeling through your words.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve been here, but I am in need of community right now, and I’m glad to see you’re still writing.

  2. hello teaspoon & leakelley! Long time no see to the both of you.

    both of your words really made me glow.

    I went to go look at your site, teaspoon- but couldn’t access. Community, you have in heaps of course, any ol’ time.

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