Honest to gosh

I was very kindly tagged for a unique blog award yesterday, by Julie over at ‘Thinking About’. While it is always flattering to have someone honor you with an award, this one is rather near to the heart, because it’s the ‘Honest Scrap’ award- for bloggers who display remarkable honesty in their daily posts.

honest_scrap_award

When you get the Honest Scrap award, you are meant to grace your readers with 10 honest things about yourself, and then pass on the award to other blog friends who write honestly and truly about themselves and events in their life.

So without further ado:

1.  It seems right to begin with a few words about honesty. I do try- in both real life and on here to be direct and straightforward. That was not always the case, and I’m certainly not always successful. When I fail, it’s usually because I fear something- the consequence of being truthful, and that kind of makes me hold the truth in even higher regard, cus I feel weak when I fail at it. There’s a difference, though, between honesty and brutal honesty; and a question each person has to ask themselves if they write in a semi-public forum such as this: Where do I draw the line between privacy and honesty? Not everything is meant to be expressed. I think though, that if you feel the *need* to write something- there’s usually a reason, and the best anyone can hope to do is be as honest and objective as possible when that impulse takes hold.

2.  In that vein, I hereby freely admit that I’ve eaten 4 cinnamon rolls in the last 24 hours. They were not giant cinnamon rolls, but they weren’t like one inch tall, either. I make no excuses. I baked the darn things, and I wanted to eat some. They were good.

3.  I tend to think people are paying keen and interested attention to my every move, even when they couldn’t care less.

4.  Things have been pretty sad and upset around here (romantically) the last 5 days. The reason for that was, painfully enough, an honesty issue. I honestly don’t know what happens now.

5.  I’ve voluntarily watched ‘The Mummy 2’ sixteen times. And I’d watch it again.

6.  I’ve been fired 5 times. There was no consistent reason. I’ve come up with a few explanations, but mostly, nobody should ever hire me to do any kind of clerical work, ever. It’s remarkable that I kept applying for those kinds of jobs, but I did, and remarkably, they kept hiring me.

7.  It bothers me, I’ll admit. In my twenties, right up to about 29, I thought my friends were blessed fools to get married, and I thanked my lucky stars that I didn’t follow suit- though opportunities came up a few times. It would have meant a whole lot of extra pain, expense and bureaucratic paper-work which I would never have gotten through (see #6), because none of those relationships lasted. My relationships continued not to last. I continue to be grateful never to have gotten legally entwined with the wrong person, but-

It gets lonely. There’s always the newness and the fragility of the fledgling relationship. There’s the in-between time. I see people who’ve had stories together, history together, and I just wish the person I’m meant to call my own could get here. He must have time management issues, like me.

I’m going to give him crap for being late.

8.  I’m text-book PTSD, and, not unsurprisingly, prone to depression. This sucks. But I can’t maintain a bad mood any more consistently than I can maintain a good one, so that’s kinda nice.

9.  I haven’t had a girl best-friend since I was 16 years old. My best friend has been a guy. My current best-friend is probably some form of soul-mate, which might sound romantic, but it really means you have absolutely no tolerance when you see them wussing out, or fooling themselves. That honesty thing again (it goes both ways). Still, I’m glad that he’s there.

10.  My daughter is the person I’ve failed the most, and the person I love the most. Which leads me to this bit of skewered wisdom I’m going to pass on to all y’all: The way someone acts isn’t necessarily the way they feel.

We’re human. It’s a pretty knackered species.

I hereby present the ‘Honest Scrap’ award to:

Rao @ Age of Geek,   Christina @ Trees, Flowers, Birds,  LB @ Lazy Buddhist,  ybonesy @ redRavine & Beda @ anhinga

Each of these people has displayed remarkable honesty, expressing what many people think but are afraid to say, opening the door to more honest exchanges.  There are others I thought to tag, but may have refrained due to your current real life situations- which might be making things busy or difficult at the moment. Peek in and say hi, they all like visitors.

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13 thoughts on “Honest to gosh

  1. Bless yer heart! Sheesh, sometimes it is just so hard putting that stuff out there, so it feels darned good to get kindness back for doing so.

    And I think Jules was right on to give you this award, because you are! Especially about being a mother and a daughter, frankly.

    Ida’ve eaten the entire plate of cinammon rolls, too. Homemade are tons better than store-bought, moreso than just about any other baked good.

  2. You like me, you really, really like me! *grasps the award, with a glistening tear running down my cheek*

    Also thank you for a posting idea because what with NaBloPoMo this month, I’m starting to run out of ideas.

  3. I would have eaten them all. Not under normal circumstances, but under lately circumstances. I’ve suddenly become addicted to sweets. My body is wondering what’s going on, especially after consuming an entire (movie-sized) box of Mike & Ike’s.

    I sometimes think you are a younger version of me except you have the courage to be more open and honest than I did at your age (or at this age, for that matter). The privacy vs. honesty line often has me in a quandary as well.

    I like that you used “knackered.” It’s become my favorite word of late.

  4. Cinnamon rolls sound really yummy right now. I wouldn’t eat more than one, though, if that. If I did, I would feel so guilty that I would not enjoy it/them so it wouldn’t be worth it. But remember that I’m diabetic and I know what the sugar does to me!

  5. I, too, am honored to receive this award–and I was not the one who shot the holes in it. Honest. Glad you realized all I say is as true as I can make it, with just a thin layer shaved off the edges for identification purposes. You are the master of letting your feeling come through, and we love you for it.

    I just may be in competition with you now. I saw challah bread at the bakery and switched religions for the day. I’m ready for another piece.

  6. Aw shucks – thanks!

    Saved for when the writing energy returns. Speaking of knackered (love that word oh yes), I am deeply so right now with my son’s football league and have no brain power left to blog at the moment.

  7. I’ve been known to sit in front of the tv, drink two glasses of milk and a whole bag of double stuff oreos…..(That’s why I don’t buy them) I just can’t stop. Thanks Am, now I’m gonna have to finger out 10 things to put down. :-)

  8. Raolin- Then oreos are what you could call your ‘trigger food’. We all have trigger foods. Oddly enough, cinnamon rolls aren’t one of mine-

    But there is a certain deep seated comfort to be derived from warm bread.

    Robin- Sometimes, I’ve thought that too. I don’t know about more honest, but I think you’re more kind. ;)

  9. See A, this is *exactly* why I passed this award to you. And I’ll admit, I later thought, damn, I should have sent it over to the lovely folks at Red Ravine, too. So I’m glad you did that. :)

    What a wonderful, open, honest post. I think it’s far better to be lonely sometimes than to be stuck in a failing marriage, or thrice divorced and still lonely. Maybe when Mr. Amuirin shows up, you could give him a watch?

    Failing your child? Sigh. I think I’m in touch with that emotion. I comfort myself with the knowledge that she learns as much from my mistakes as from my successes. And we never underestimate the power of kissing and making up.

  10. One of my other trigger foods is Real black Licorice. (not that plastic twizzler crap) I use to buy it in bulk by the pound. That and fresh, Glazed, Safeway, buttermilk doughnuts. Sadly they make them no longer the way they use too.

    Of course Coffee is a trigger for me as well, or more to the point a necessity.

  11. Pingback: Honest Scrap « Trees and flowers and birds!

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