Unpublished Twitters

I’ve learned to not really mind being a failure. …that might be the problem.

Wanting something is a fairly effective form of bondage.

Every time I sit down and try to plan out what I want to do with my life, I end up just retreating to the bathtub with a vibrator.

Long-term goals are a construct that work in direct opposition to the immediacy of natural instinct. It’s only in the last centimeter of our evolution that we’ve been long-lived or prosperous enough to plan ahead further than a season.

My base compulsion is still to torch everything I’ve acquired and move on.

I’d like to be a part of something bigger, but I don’t really have the right attention span.

11 thoughts on “Unpublished Twitters

  1. And somehow WordPress saw its way to suggest the following as a possibly related link: “REPORT: Wagoner gets $8.2M severance + $74,030 annually w/benefits… for life.”

    Possibly related??? Really?

    Maybe it was the vibrator tweet.

  2. Very interesting. Each one is separate of the others and yet together they work perfectly to create one coherent piece.

    BTW, I can never to the long range planning or writing of goals either. As much as I have tried, it is a “skill” that has eluded me. So I get it.

  3. Goals are for wusses and motivational speakers. I’m sorry, spouting goals just seems so darn introspective to me. I like the opposite: Open UP! The go with the flow and your talents (and you have plenty). Why must we hobble ourselves with arbitrary guideposts? What kind of adventure is that and what do you do when you get there? Spike the ball? Or maybe just celebrate one on one with the vibrator?

  4. While I’m understandably hesitant to present myself as some sort of expert on solitary pleasure devices, waterproof vibes have been on the market for years. These are battery powered, designed for ‘loads of fun in the shower’.

    …or so I’ve heard.

  5. OMG, you’re brilliant! And why don’t people publish this kind of stuff on Twitter? Or like, “Sitting on the pot…” If more people would publish their unpublished tweets, I’d love Twitter.

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