On twitter, you hafta use less than 140 characters to convey either what you’re doing right now, or pretty much any thought that crosses your mind that you don’t think will bore the ever lovin’ crap out of complete and total strangers.

I’m feeling lazy, so rather than write a blog, I’m going to regurgitate some of my past tweets.

I am doing nothing… with a certain flair, though.
4:47 PM Jul 25th from web

If you ever really need hits for something, just describe it on twitter as ‘erotic photography’.
10:34 AM Jul 19th from web

Did Oscar Wilde do freakin’ *anything* with his life besides sit around and make up pithy remarks?
5:23 AM Jul 23rd from web

If there was a nuclear holocaust, and only two people survived, it just seems very unlikely that it would be me and Neil Gaiman.
12:01 AM Jul 13th from web

Irrelevant aside: So, it turns out I can make that little motor lizard sound the velociraptors make on Jurrassic Park. Whose jealous? :)
3:36 PM Jul 7th from web

O! the violence of every damn day.
7:50 AM Jul 6th from web

It’s always a rather agonizing bid to try and find your place in someone elses affections.
10:12 AM Jul 3rd from web

@rtd13 It is a lot of death talk these days. It just struck me funny how you said that. Like it was an especially long version of King Lear.
10:24 AM Jun 28th from web in reply to rtd13

My whole personality is a peace offering.
8:50 AM Jun 28th from web

It’s sort of amazing, the sheer number of organizations that revolve around the central concept of wearing a funny hat.
6:32 PM Jun 27th from web

He had to find a way to talk her out of the notion that her deep end was a profound state of being. #fiction
10:41 AM Jun 26th from web

Delicious morning. *wiggles toes, appreciatively*
11:41 AM Jun 24th from web

I can feel my world doing that hazy, mirage-type thing that it does right before it shrinks back down to a bite-sized life.
1:15 PM Jun 21st from web

“Why would anyone get married?” she asks, surveying the scorched remains of her parents’ living room.
9:56 PM Jul 18th from web

Daughter haiku: her wall of talk/is something i work out for/but to no avail
6:43 PM Jun 19th from web

that ‘Valley of Elah’ movie f*ked with my head a little. It could have been better, but then it wouldn’t have been as good. *blinks*
10:36 PM Jun 12th from web

Sometimes, despite all my crap parenting, I suspect maybe I’ve succeeded on the important parts.
8:34 AM Jun 11th from web

The most supportive people in my life have pretty consistently been whomever I ended up sitting by at the laundromat.
2:11 PM Jun 5th from web

mirror musing: I am the hottest thing to come around since frozen vegetable medley.
9:12 AM Jun 4th from web

I want …. *lays cheek gently on the keyboard*. I want held. I want to wake someone up and kiss him till the sun rises.
11:48 PM Jun 3rd from web

Big shout out to ‘Your Horny Kitty’, my latest follower on twitter! Yeah! *feeling perplexed by the mundane undertones of personal destiny*
11:19 AM May 31st from web

I can withstand inanity, self-involvement, rude & cryptic on a twitter feed, but take me lap by lap thru a moto-racing event, & we’re done.
9:01 AM May 31st from web

Does anybody else think Squidward is kind of a hottie?
10:02 AM May 29th from web

I wish I could be close to someone without turning into neurotic, self-doubty monster the next day.
6:56 PM May 28th from web

Sometimes the rain is such a relief to the senses.
10:12 AM May 19th from web

Hello you world, you chummy old world. It’s nice to see your bright, ancient face.
10:10 AM May 5th from web

A brand new day: I hit the ground crawling.
9:55 AM Apr 22nd from web

we’re giving the dog a bath. not that it will help the odor without someone present whose willing to squeeze his… y’know what? never mind.
5:14 PM Apr 19th from web

I turned my ankle and had to limp two miles home. Bry made me laugh to tears with running commentary on my ‘elf boots’ & I fell down again.
8:46 PM Apr 14th from web

“Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos”’s good stuff. He deserved some gelato.
9:37 AM Apr 9th from web

dog’s gone nutters. I’ll sit and twitter about it instead of checking it out. Can you *see* the shape of the future?
11:49 AM Mar 29th from web

Insomnia monsters. Yip yip yip yip.
3:17 AM Mar 30th from web

remember being a kid, and so sugar-starved that you had to eat your graham-cracker/frosting sandwich open faced (to derive the full benefit)
1:09 PM Jun 5th from web

This is why God invented the tantrum.
10:39 AM Apr 19th from web

8 thoughts on “Twitters.

  1. Ha, you left out some of the happy ones:

    I love nearly everyone right now. I’m even willing to pardon that dude who designed c.d. wrappers.
    about 22 hours ago from web

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s