My mind turns in a slow wheel. I can’t turn it off.
These are thoughts I have been having, and yes
they take new twists and turns, always wheeling out slow.
But I am the same.
It doesn’t change, I can’t change my mind
or resolve what needs resolving to
be a different place in my head, so
I can’t be someone different who might
be living a fantastic life
tucked into another one’s arms,
greeting the day, a day filled with such
I have adventures in the closed curtain room
and they all revolve around a love,
a love I’m no good at having.
The same frustration, too
when I look through the things I’ve written
here and other places
it is all so… emotional
there is a resolution in so many posts
that sings a lie
I keep repeating.
I love but I can’t connect the dots,
I am the endless drone
of a soft rain.
Why is it always the same?
why does it come down
to this circle of starvation,
a night without stars?
Blink then, and go out
but it keeps moving, the slow wheel
a pinpoint of awareness in a hard dark
that swallows up the world.