reading, writing, and rudimentary notions

I woke with an odd yearning. Someone I’m acquainted with on the East Coast shared this interesting tidbit: They love those strawberry iced donuts from Shipleys.

I’ve never been to a place called Shipleys, and I’ve never had a strawberry iced donut, but now I have a hankering. You might even call it a yen. Whatever this strawberry iced Shipley stuff is about, it sounds good, and I want in on it. That’s ideally how I’d like to start my day today, actually.

The other part of the how-I-would-start-my-day-but-it-just-didn’t-happen was having a post all fresh and up and ready on this site. I wrote with that intention, last night. Another poem thing whatsit, but it turned out to be writing meant for me, not for the world in general. 

That can happen.

So here we are. In my heart of hearts, I know it doesn’t really matter if or what I write. Engaging once again in weeble world and what’s going on with others would be more greatly appreciated than sharing my cryptic hankerings (a belly-dancer’s costume, an orgasm, a corned beef sandwich… yeah, probably in that order)

That’s something the object of my twitterpatedness is good at. It’s like part of his nature, the responsive thing. Anyone he meets feels bathed in the warmth of generous, good-natured attention. I’ve been trying it out in a way, and it’s not hard, If-  you’re sincerely interested, or predisposed to like/admire the people you give that attention to. It can’t be faked, so the big and noticable difference between us is that he’s more likely to be open and optimistic about people, till they prove him wrong. My tendency is not really warm toward the human race. My default setting is to receive new people with a mixture of cautious interest and suspicion. Depending on how they come off, or what happens next, one or the other of those elements takes precedent.

The weird part is- who do you suppose is the better gage of human nature?

It ain’t me. For all my caution, I have gotten close several times to the wrong people. People whom, I suppose you could say are wired particularly to disarm, or fool the suspicious nature.

Whereas believing the best about people often brings out the best in them. Believing, in spite of everything, in their better nature almost seems to make them want to act on that.

I’m learning this stuff, but they are in the context of some things I already know. Everyone’s different. People will probably always scare me a little, so I’m never going to be a real ‘people person’, and that’s okay. I love the natural world, so loving people in a general sense would be a conflict of interest, anyway. I do really love that he is like that, and it pleases me that I’ve learned a little bit more about how to respond when I have that gut instinct that leans toward letting someone in.

He talked about this yesterday,  in reference to something I had done, which made an impact on him (I kept these thoughts to myself for the meanwhile) but what he said is that part of love is getting to know someone who teaches you to see things in a new way. 

Think about that: If you can see something over and over and have the same response, and then someone comes along who shows you the texture, the meaning, the beauty in that-   it changes your world, subtly. And that’s a big part, too, cus our culture is so used to focusing on passion and sentimentality- but love is also about learning. 

That’s a pretty cool part about love.


6 thoughts on “reading, writing, and rudimentary notions

  1. How right your “love” is. Knowing “someone who teaches you to see things in a different way” is the most amazing part of a relationship. My husband was a lifelong education for me and I may have imparted a bit of my differentness to him, too. It is a very rich way to live. I’m happy for you.

  2. I had a little nibble of this today. Went to lunch with my 13-year-old daughter downtown to celebrate her last day of school, and while walking back to our car, we were stopped by a no on prop 8 person, wanting to talk to me about the next step in the fight toward marriage equality in CA. I happen to think this is a wonderful cause, so I stopped. But I did so begrudgingly, because while I’m willing to give $10 to the cause, or sign a petition, or attend a rally, or write a letter, I want it all to be on my terms. I don’t want to get added to a phone and mailing list, and I don’t have the $147 contribution they were asking for. The guy was nice, but trying to convince me of why I should give him my email address, my phone number, etc. I didn’t.

    When we left, my daughter asked me why I was so mad at him. Wow.

    I didn’t realize I sounded mad. I didn’t feel mad. Well, maybe a bit tired of having politics thrust in my face, and people asking me for money, and sometimes I just want people to do the right thing by each other, thus negating the need for this constant struggle which sucks the energy out of me. And I don’t have a job right now, so $10 isn’t nothing.

    I suggested that perhaps I should go back and apologize to him, but my daughter was mortified by that idea. Did I mention she’s 13? ;)

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