Going to Knowing or: Don’t Push My Envelope

Okay. Here’s today’s plan: I’m going to a movie I actually want to see with my esoteric, had-to-be-talked-into-it friend Julie, instead of attending the bust ’em up comic-book flick ‘Watchmen‘ with Rachel and Billy.

I just can’t give a flying fuck about Watchmen. My inner comic geek won’t rise to the occasion, though she rose for X-men and Spiderman, and even a painful showing of Elektra. Watchmen is supposed to blow one’s mind with its curious darkness and explosive action. I just… really, really don’t want to see that film.

I tried to induce my wayward g.f. and her funny honey to switch plans and attend Nicholas Cage’s new disaster flick ‘Knowing’. That film had me fascinated from the first preview, and it’s always good to have Billy along, cus if a movie gets boring you can count on him to create a booby-trap in the next seat over with chewed bubble-gum, or at least pepper the coiffes of the people in front of us with popcorn.

But from the comic-book extravaganza they would not be moved, so I had to talk Julie, who is basically a bowling buddy, (if barely-bowling people can actuallly have bowling buddies) into coming to see this film. Cus basically, I’m a big, huge chicken-shit. I read the critic’s reviews in a woebegone fashion, and then I read the *people’s* reviews on IMDB, and I was intrigued that they all said the critics were snivelling, snarky stupid-heads (that’s paraphrased). I was also a little unnerved that person after person mentioned ‘excessively disturbing scenes’.

I don’t get that. None of the sick-fucks who flocked to Saw 22 talked about disturbing scenes. (Like to just take a moment here and pause over the fact that our society is so disgusting, there’s been ongoing demand for sequels to this franchise) Although, that might just be cus it would be a fairly redundant observation. Nobody attends a torture movie for the aesthetic aura or spiritual uplift.

‘Knowing’ is rated P.G. 13, and there’s no parental warnings that site excessive gore or anything, just a lot of be-waries regarding intensity in reference to large-scale disasters. So I will drag Julie along, all 4’11” of her, and hope that our bowling relationship doesn’t suffer too much strain if I hafto bury my face in her miniature shoulder, or heave into the popcorn or something. I like being surprised and captivated at a film, but rather deplore Hollywood’s trend of traumatizing.

Are you listening Summit Entertainment? My afternoon is in your hands. Try not to make it a gutterball.


10 thoughts on “Going to Knowing or: Don’t Push My Envelope

  1. OOOooooooooo…. looks interesting!

    Though there’s something about that plot premise that seems very familiar. Can’t recall off the top of my head if it was a film or TV series episode. The code, prescience, obsessiveness…. if I remember I’ll revisit.

    So, what did you think?? Pray tell.

  2. Sucked.

    SUCKED. I was actually insulted by the ending. It was a classic M. Night Shyamalan type of rogering, except without the cohesiveness of plot line. Basically, you think all these discordant plot threads will come together in an intelligent, and either scientific or theologically slanted way, and instead they drop them all abruptly and end the movie with a ludicrous, disparate, close-encounters cop-out.

    Oh, and no parent whose child is being stalked is going to leave their kid alone in the car one time, much less four times.

    Criminally stupid.

  3. Ohhh 4’11” I’s she hot? Did you two have that awkward end of the date moment where you were not sure if you should kiss on the lips or just a peck on the cheek?

    What movie were you going to see?

  4. We thought about going to that one, too, but then my sister read a review that said it’s the worst movie of the year. Ugh. Glad I know, because they’re aren’t many good new movies out right now.

    I went to see I Love You, Man and laughed my head off. I love movies that make me laugh out loud. Kind of like your Search Term posts. 8)

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