Heya. I got this from Julie over at ‘Thinking about..‘ who was tagged by a friend to fill out a firstborn meme. Reading about her experience was interesting to me, as a mom, and I wanted to do it too, so I’m gonna.

Feel free to tag yourself in a similar manner if the spirit moves you.

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Not even a little tiny bit. In fact, I was on day 17 or 18 of birth control pills at the time. You’re supposed to wait thirty days before using the pill as a contraceptive. I guess that part is sorta important.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Not even a little tiny bit.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? I had no earthly idea what I had gotten myself into. My reaction reflected that. Kind of like staring in a bemused and slightly troubled way at a charging rhino.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Like… physically? morally? emotionally? It was an option, and my parents discussed it with me. At the time I thought my father was for, my mother against, but have learned since then that they are both excellent at hiding their agendas, because I had it switched around. I was fairly idealistic, and never truly considered it, but that was in part a side-effect of having no-earthly-idea-what-i-had-gotten-myself-into.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? Barely twenty.

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT? One of those little pregnancy sticks you get at the pharmacy.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? My psychotic boyfriend.


9. DUE DATE? November 28, 1997. That’s not when she arrived.

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? No. But I experienced a bone-deep exhaustion my first trimester that made even the cement floor of a grocery warehouse seem like an inviting place to lie down for a moment.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Pepsi. The sugary-caffeine-laden kind.

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Well, I was kind of living Maslow’s hierarchy of need. I was working full time, going to school full time, and coming home to a boyfriend who went from emotionally to physically abusive upon learning of the pregnancy. My deepest desire was to sleep. I might not have survived the first trimester if my boss at Schoen Library hadn’t simply taken my hand during my work-study shift, and lead me to a couch in the meditation room where I slept seven hours straight the first time. Without saying a word to anyone, she showed me where I could go to rest, unmolested, and I used it several times after that. She also paid me for my shift that day.


14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? No. Her dad wanted a boy, and could not mask his disappointment when we got a good look at her during the ultra-sound. But a huge smile broke out on my face when the ob-gyn said it was a girl. In fact, I remember her looking at me, feeling her eyes take in my b.f.’s disappointment and then light on my smile, and somehow she knew, looking at me, that it would somehow turn out okay. And I knew it would be okay, too.


16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Not officially. I didn’t want one, could not face one. The visitors and gifts came in a steady stream, from as far as five hours away the day she was delivered.

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I did not know at the time how much a shower is about the people giving it, and not the person receiving it. People need to celebrate life, welcome it, even if the circumstances seem scary or unfortunate.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Well, I was induced because I was 10 days late. They induced at 8 am, and contractions finally started in the afternoon. But I got a kind of medicine which was supposed to numb a certain area, and reacted to it so strongly, that it stopped the pregnancy and oxygen had to be administered. Scary half an hour. After that was a nice little break where nothing happened for a long, long time. Labor did not resume till late evening, and she was born in the early hours of the next day. Yep… a Tuesday.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Pacific Communities Hospital, on the coast.

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 17 hours. But there was that break in the middle.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? I can’t really remember.

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Her dad. He turned white and had to be administered to by a nurse.


24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Yeah. That didn’t go so well.


28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? December 9th, 1997.

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HER? Suffice to say, both ‘Sushi Pancake’ and ‘Lazlo Fraggle’ got voted down at the family round table.

30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? Eleven years old. And just how the hell did that happen? I don’t know.


5 thoughts on “Firstborn

  1. I guess I thought I had lost interest in this stuff, it happening so long ago. But no, it’s interesting to hear what other people have gone through. :) I’m glad you did it.

  2. OK, so, I cannot post this on my blog because my parents read it and I am not dragging them through all the drama again so I will just say this:

    #s 1-11 for me are virtually identical except that I was 2 mos shy of 20 when I found out and the due date was 7/15/85 (he was one day early). Oh, and there was no b/c pill was pure stupidity and naivete on my part.

    He was 6 lbs 10zs and is now 23. We found out the sex, it was what we both wanted and his dad did try to stick around for awhile and parent though we never married. Then dad turned into the useless drug user he really was and I was on my own by the time my son was 4. Natural childbirth though more by speed than planning – labor was about 14 hours long but transition to birth was rather instantaneous. He kinda came flying out!

  3. Hey, your daughter uses her money to buy books. How bad a mom could you possibly be?

    A friend spent 24 hours in labor and delivered a 13-pound boy. That little dude was HUGE.

  4. As a guy I’ll pass on this one as even telling that my first was planned, a girl, weighed ten and a half lbs and caused my wife to scream she was going to kill me during labor doesn’t even come close to what the women folk go through. Hell, I’m to weak to go through that kind of thing. You women folk are a lot stronger than us guys.

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