…but then, there probably is one, somewhere.
We’ve been a little busy over here. That’s excuse number one. It isn’t like I’ve had *no* time to read or write though, I sit down to do it and nothing really comes out. It all sounds overdone.
I don’t like what I have to say.
Turn the page, turn the page.
I often have this dilemma when I’m happy. It wreaks hell on my writing habit.
You know how people do their New Years resolution things in January? Isn’t it weird to do it right then? The ground is frozen solid, there’s weeks more of winter left- it isn’t really a season that shrieks ‘TRANSITION!’ It’s more like a season that murmurs- “Go curl up in a sweater, drink hot stuff and brood.”
This time of year- this is my new year. When the school year is about to start, when the summer is in its final act. When people talk about the season, this is it. Now. Autumn.
And what an exciting season. It thundered and lightninged all freakin’ night. Can you tell that the writing isn’t coming easily? Just curious. There’s no rolling thing, but choppy starts and stops.
I’m kinda happy. There is that anticipatory air… ha! anticipatory air, yup- of knowing what I want but not having arrived at it yet.
What’s different this year from years past=
1. I know what I wanna do. It sure isn’t the direction I was floundering towards for years, but that’s kinda cool. Like a surprise. A twist. A ‘startling realization’, thunder crash now…. thanks, that was more of a rumble, but anyway.
2. I have a who that seems to know how to protect and take care of us without taking over me. He’s an awesome who and I love him a lot.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Maybe that’s the key. Without explanation, description, apology, without going to the extreme of holing up with my happiness till it blows up, or denying my happiness for fear of looking foolish in the future, maybe that’s the way for me to show a little faith in myself, and my happiness, which has been hanging around gently for quite awhile.
It would be nice to be able to write and be happy at the same time. So guess what?
I’m kinda happy.
How ’bout that.