How the oat rolls

The trouble with with-holding yourself in order to prove a point, or to hold the power in a situation is that, too often, the other person learns from that experience all too well.

They learn they *can* live without you; they learn there’s an alternative to feeling as unimportant as you made them feel by going away, and they might learn you’re not nearly as great as they thought you were back when they were pouring energy into being your friend.

An educational experience, all ’round.


11 thoughts on “How the oat rolls

  1. A lot of truth here…….I’ve tried the same trick in relationships in the past, doesn’t work…..but then if you have to play games, aren’t you better off gone? Just my probably irritating 0.2…..

  2. David- Don’t worry. Everyone’s nuts.

    jo- I donno. Considering that *most* people play games in some situations, the gone approach might not always be the answer.

    So many of us need to put up facades, feints, defenses & dodges to hide the jealous, insecure or frightened little boy/girl that’s hovering deep inside.

  3. There have been times (i’m ashamed to say as a game player) I deliberately was the with-holder. There have been times I was unintentionally and unknowingly (and regretfully) the with-holder. And there have been times I was (for still unknown reasons) the with-holdee.

    Definitely an educational experience in all instances. Very thought inciting post, Am.

  4. I’m going to have to go along with MAD. Most people are into themselves and it takes a while for them to realize the room just emptied. Brings to mind a quote from childhood I’ve never forgotten: You wouldn’t worry what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do. So please yourself. The world will follow–or not.

  5. simple, elegant, honest, and straight to the point…a whole self centered mind field of “I” statements leveled with a breath of fresh air…your air…nicely observed…Be Well…

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