I’ve never sold something on ebay before, and now that the glorified rush of seeing a plus balance in paypal has worn off, now I hafta deal with the shipping conundrum.  The pressure is immense. Wrapping isn’t my forte. The dealer gets to rate the seller on all kinds of things, and what if my wrapping efforts are insufficient? Or involve too copious a wad of tape? What if she laughs at me? God I hate being judged on indeterminates.

Also, for possibly the first time in my adult life, there aren’t any reams of bubble wrap lying around in swooshy-pop bundles. I always have bubble wrap. It’s like a useless fixture of my everyday life. Now that I could actually use some extraneous aerated land-fill, the stuff is gone. All gone. We must have had an overthorough cleaning spree the last time.

What does this teach us, boys and girls? You should never ever clean and organize. Heed my advice on this issue and you’ll never hafta pay $39.99 parcel post to send a modestly sized electronic item wrapped snugly in a queen size comforter.


I’m gonna be the ebay reject.


Update: I found a ream of bubble-wrap, so you can all relax now. I know that must have weighed heavy on your mind. I also found half a roll of butter-rum lifesavers in the storage closet. They taste…vintage.

See. It’s not a wasted day.


20 thoughts on “Puzzleddd

  1. What in the world are you shipping? A plasma TV?

    Take a deep breath and go to a UPS Store. They’ll treat you right.

  2. Chuck- Really… hm… interesting… and about how long did you get away with that, would you say?

    Slothboy- Nah, it’s a nano-pod.


    I sold an external hard drive. It’s in the original packing, so I donno, really, how much extra padding it particularly needs. But I don’t want to skimp, in case I’ve got a rating nazi on the line.

  3. I’m an ebay virgin. I have neither bought nor sold. That makes me totally useless in this regard.

    Glad you found your bubble wrap. Do they still make butter-rum Livesavers? Cos I’m craving one now. Perhaps not the vintage variety, though.

  4. This was so funny, especially the quilt and the butterscotch. I got to tell you I am so shit at wrapping that I always hand over presents at kids’ birthday parties saying ‘sorry Theo insisted on wrapping this himself’ (yeah right, pinocchio), I had no idea you got rated at that, thanks for the warning.

  5. I saw a wierd thing in Japan (whereelse). They sell bubblewrap in small lots just for popping and now they have digital bubblewrap like a little toy, let me see if I can find you a link,

  6. eBay rates on wrapping? don’t they have better things to make you feel bad about? I’ve never played on eBay – must be about 8 of us left in the US. (Hey, Robin, I see, is one!) :-)

  7. Not specifically, but the buyers and sellers are supposed to give feedback on the transaction within a couple of days of it being completed.

    Usually they discuss whether the payment/delivery was prompt, if the item is in the condition that it was listed.

    I just happen to be a little paranoid about the wrapping bit. :)

  8. Paul- That blows my mind. Particularly the idea that people actually *buy* those things.

    “…Once in every 100 squeezes of an air bubble, instead of emitting a “popping” sound, the noise will be replaced by the sound of a fart or a woman moaning in ecstasy. ”

    The japanese are a warped people.

  9. eBay does make you wonder what those little girls over in the corner are whispering about you. Well, when they see your magnificient bubble wrap they will have to give you a high rating. Keep selling off your clutter and you’ll end up with a gold? star. I forget. My house is still cluttered, though I have sold a few things on eBay, quite successfully. My husband started selling our used books a few weeks ago and has had a few bites, but not on any of mine. I don’t read mainstream. Don’t be intimidated. eBay really works quite well.

  10. i don’t have much experience with ebay. i’m more of a GunBroker.com guy.

    I have an A+ rating for “good packing and speedy delivery.”


    that’s what she said.

  11. “that’s what she said” :D

    i wish i knew you were selling an external hard drive. I could use one and i would have given you an A++++++ rating. Only six pluses…. i wouldn’t it to seem i was playing favorites or anything by putting seven.

  12. You’ve probably shipped it by now but I used to sell this kind of thing in a retail environment and normally things like external hard drives are designed to be shipped simply in the package they are sold in. Often they would have a sleeve over the box to protect the graphics from damage, but a lot of the time we’d get the box with a shipping label slapped on it, especially if we hadn’t ordered more than one of them at at time.

    In fact I would often advise people to save the packaging “in case you ever decide to ship it somewhere.”

    But a little more bubble wrap in the world never hurt anything. Perhaps it will provide valuable entertainment for the receiver. Even better, it may be in just the right place at the right time to save his or her LIFE.

    Maybe the buyer was sitting on the floor watching Deadliest Catch when they opened their package. They absentmindedly began popping a few of the bubbles while Edgar and Sig on the Northwestern tried to figure out who could go longest without sleep.

    After the show was over, they got up to use the bathroom and left the bubble wrap on the floor. Just after they left the room the front door slowly creaked open and a ninja assassin entered! His mission was to kill the person living there and steal the documents on the hard drive of their computer… the very documents your hapless buyer had intended to back up onto the hard drive they had purchased from you.

    As the ninja began to creep across the room the buyer came back from the bathroom and there was a moment of pause when the ninja and the ebayer locked gazes. The ninja drew his sword and began moving slowly towards the new owner of the slightly used but in excellent condition external hard drive, who began backing up at the same pace, mind whirling in terror with hopeless plans of escape.

    The ninja accidentally stepped on the bubble wrap, still lying on the hardwood flooring of the living room. The big toe of his Tabi Boot popped one of the bubbles, which emitted the sound of a woman moaning in ecstasy. The ninja involuntarily glanced down, giving the ebayer an opportunity to grab a vase off a nearby shelf and smash it over the ninja’s head. He crumpled into an unconscious heap to the floor, causing the bubble wrap to make 13 more pops and a fart noise. The ebayer called the authorities and entered into a witness protection plan. They also left you good feedback on ebay.

    “Excellent product, fast shipping. Packaging materials saved me from ninja assassin. Would buy again. A++++++.”

  13. Pingback: Cockles, Comments and Brou-ha-ha « Stop & Wander

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s