No, Tony, Noooooo


I shouldn’t have clicked on that link. Dammit. I knew it couldn’t end in any good- 

Actor Tony Curtis looks a far cry from his movie idol days

Such a snide title could surely lead to nothing but hurt. Still, I had to check. I had to ‘see’… that most horrid of human impulses, the train-wreck syndrome. The reason certain poker players among us can’t play a decent game of 7 card stud. 

I loved Tony Curtis, with the stupid, adolescent passion of a girl who doesn’t understand Operation Petticoat was filmed 30 years before her time. I loved him throughout many viewings of The Great Race, even though  his name was ‘Lesley’, and he kept kissing *that woman*. I loved him with the absolute dedication that could even forgive the overtly uncomfortable homo-erotic man bath with Olivier in Spartacus.

But can I love him old? Can I love him bald?

I’m afraid I’m heartbroken. Somewhere along the fraught avenues of evening television, I saw my darling Tony in a cameo appearance on a t.v. show…was it WIll & Grace? Obviously aged and… in this case… dressed like a woman. But there was still that aura about him, that arched eyebrow confidence that allowed me to forget the incident, write it off if you will. I turned my attention to another retro passion, Michael Douglas at his peak: ‘Basic Instinct’, ‘Romancing the Stone’. (I am happiest when in love with a time-warp.)

But then that awful article on yahoo buzz. Did they have to? Did they have to rub my aged idol in my face? That isn’t Tony. I won’t believe it’s true. Oh God, it is you, it really is you! *wah!*


The Man Bath:

11 thoughts on “No, Tony, Noooooo

  1. I know what you mean, fortunately my idol died relatively young (Errol Flynn, fanning myself…..). I used to watch Tony in the Saint with Roger Moore, what a cool show that was.

  2. Yet *someone* still thought it’d be a good thing to have the poor guy’s picture snapped and sold to some rag for twenty bucks and cab fare. I guess letting him remain in our memories as the thirty-five-year-old with a little dignity still remaining was just a little too much to expect. Yea, we’re quite the classy bunch.

  3. Next time you see an old, bald man in a wheel chair think about what he may have been in his youth. There–in the corner of his eye, that twinkle–he may still be in there.

  4. Aahhhh – guilty pleasures….. he certainly was a handsome bugger and always looked like mischief was right around the corner.

    On the small screen I had a thing for awhile for Barbara Eden of ‘I Dream Of Jeannie’. One of the beauties of that was !!! a new episode each week !!!! so more of her pretty smile, twinkling eyes, curvy shape, bare midriff. I have to admit I didn’t care if she could act, if there was a story, if it was funny – it was strictly visual and visceral. There’s no explaining crushes or (somethimes) attraction.

    I think your reaction to Tony’s photo shows the level of care you have for the man.

  5. I wonder how shocking his appearance would be if we’d been seeing more photos of him over the years.

    I had a crush on Michael Douglas too, especially after Romancing the Stone.

  6. I sympathize although I can’t think of a celeb I followed enough to have my memories sullied. I remember all the lads liking Farah Fawcett when I was young. She now looks like a California raisin.

    Appearance aside, I bet he’s still damn sauve.

  7. I think that is so sad. It epitomises this society’s obsession with youth and appearance, I mean the guy is about 80 for goodness sake, what do people expect him to look like. God bless you Tony. I still think he’s a handsome chap.

  8. Ted (my husband) met him a few years ago, and got a picture with him. Maya (daughter) saw the pic, and said, “Is that Granny?” Something that we will never tell either Mr. Curtis OR my mother. ;)

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