Grawg

Grawg.

That is my word, but you may have it. Was I a git yesterday? Reading it over, I think I was sort of a git.  When I’m on my high horse high enough, it’s hard to see the ground down below. 

I don’t honestly expect anyone to care if I like them or not. Likely you have something better to do. To my mind it was a fascinating subject because we’re dealing with interactions based from the earliest stage on anonymity.

Being anonymous is great, but not in a creepy ‘invisible man’ kind of way. Rather, for writing- I experience a few misgivings when I start to actually get to know people and actually care what they think on a blog. It has to effect how you write. We put filters in play automatically and play to those who influence us most. That’s part of the human condition.

But here, in this place, what determines like, attraction, influence? How accurately do you think a personality is communicated through the writing voice? Today those questions are gonna be all just very rhetorical, because… Ive already tormented a kind stranger with this knowledge, and a less strange other kind. Here goes: My head hurts.

After careful consideration, I’ve decided not to be strong or stoic about this. What I would like is sympathy and a liberal dousing of babying. My noggin hurts like holy hell. I involuntarily wedged my head between my knees earlier, not because I’m limber and a show-off, but because it seemed actually to ease the pain. 

Pet me. Coddle me. Where the fuck are you putting your hands, mister?

Just kidding. 

There was a point here.. No there wasn’t, but I wanted to mention my incense at this little fact: I’m getting repeater spams! Scan reruns! I’m telling you, suleman bello already solicited me for an African Bank transaction, I remember the name!  

I remember, cus at the time I remarked to myself how that name seemed close to Saul Bellow. Whom I have not successfully read, but whom my friend Tim has read in depth, and he tells me stuff, so he’s like a walking, talking Cliff Notes. (Am I being a git again?) I think it’s an outrage, and I’m not editing this so if the post doesn’t make sense, it’s okay, but if you’re going to spam one of your head-hurty, scam-prone brethren (sistren?) for fuck sake, be original.

I actually read the first lines of those thing; there’s always the minor possibility someone’s using the old scam standard to send me a message in code.  I don’t know why, or how come they’d have the time to go to such elaborate measures if they couldn’t tell me what was wrong normally, but the possibility exists, vaguely and microscopically, all the same.

You know, the thing really kinda interesting about yesteday’s post and the responses, was that a whole lot of people wrote or commented that they felt paranoid or nervous that they might be the negative example that I illustrated.

Why do we do that? I do it too. With all the other options, and no indication of bad feelings, I still focus on the negative. It’s not right somehow. Love yourselves, little weebles! You’re all enchanting in your own right. Love yourselves, and don’t worry, but please clean up when you’re done. I can’t face Hasbro secretions today, see… I’ve got a headache.  

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8 thoughts on “Grawg

  1. Headaches suck. :( I have one today, which has been kept at bay by the combination of netti pot and cold and sinus advil, and yet, I still feel it in one nostril and behind one eye. Sigh.

    If squeezing your head between your knees helped, I wonder if this might help? I’ve only blogged about it, not actually tried it, because I’m stupid that way:
    http://jellyjules.com/?p=490

  2. Poor thing. If you have a headache, turn off the computerer and go for a long walk in the fresh air, breath deep and stop thinking. That is my prescription.

  3. I am laughing…….(though not at your headache, I’m sending virtual sympathy for that). You are right, people invariably do assume that if something is negative it’s about them, well most people, a sad few are keen to grab the laurel leaves and pop em on.
    I told you already, I found the post yesterday fascinating because interacting in cyber space is not that different to being out in the big wide world. We do create a persona for ourselves, it’s true, but the thing about personas is that we think we’re so clever with what we are showing of ourselves, our coolest jeans, thighhigh boots, hat tilted rakishly ….we forget that messages are coming through loud and clear from where we didn’t expect, the blob of latte on our nose, the bit of spinach in our teeth (didn’t you write something funny about that once), the price tag on the sole of our boots……..so on that note, I think I have a pretty good idea about what the people whose blogs I’ve been reading for a while are like, not the whole picture but as much of a picture as I’d have got from spending time with you on the odd night out, wine flowing and like is like……….and hey, I like you, lots :)

  4. ditto, what jo said, that last thing, and i don’t even know you a little, much less a lot. some things people can’t fake. there is so much to enjoy here, to contemplate and to savor. i’ll be back again and again. i am honored to be on your blogroll.

  5. Julie- I checked it out. Interesting idea, to bandage the head. If nothing else, if I were feeling such an attention sink as I was yesterday, the whole head wrap would likely score attention.

    A four hour nap finally made the bugger go away.

    Paul- It’s a good prescription, but a long walk in the fresh air is often a bit more refreshing than your average walker would strictly approve of, here on the very rainy, Oregon coast.

    jo- glad you’re laughing. ;) There were so many who assumed that the negative must be them! I felt guilty. I shouldn’t write when I’m tired, and I was, but it’s cool too cus some of the stuff I don’t like the next day does at least stimulate discussion. So there’s that.

    You’re right, a whole persona is so often revealed through words, even things they don’t think come through. Sometimes the choices of what not to say are as revealing as what is said. And I think you’re the cat’s pajamas. Which is a very good thing. Though a rather bizarre notion…

    rick- you show up out of the blue, sporting a lovely artistic site, read my words and pay elegant compliments.

    I’m seriously considering having you cloned.

  6. HEAD ON!
    apply directly to the forehead.
    HEAD ON!

    Available without a prescription.

    For the record, when people allude to a negative thing about somebody and a positive thing about somebody, I always assume I’m the positive thing. Because I’m awesome and everybody likes me.

  7. I had a headache once… but it went away. Sometimes I envision it turning tricks in Seattle… other times I just hope its only mildly toxic and using its deodorant so as not to be offensive.

    Yea… some times I even miss her a little.

    I hope she’s enjoying my bass boat.

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