A Brief Es’pinachon

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

I started this blog. This was not the first; no. It was the 2nd. Nevermind the whole ‘Why is this the second and not the first, dearest amuirin, benign weeble overlord and fraggly red-headed queen of the pantsless Tuesday?’ question.

There will be time for me to make up a good reason and execute it believably later, the point is that this blog started out, and it was different than the other blog.

It was supposed to be, see. First off, I had an Alice in Wonderland rip-off theme going for the other, and it didn’t jive with me on a deep, deep level. Also, it was very hard to find an Alice themed blog on google, because it turned out a few people had that idea before me. My page ranking was like 32,675th or something.

So I wanted something unique, and I wanted different perspectives.

I approached a few people with the idea of making it a group blog. They said yes. Be careful if you ever have this same idea, because it turns out it’s a fairly dangerous undertaking. Two people who agreed to be writers immediately thereafter dropped off the face of the planet. They haven’t been heard from since, except one was sighted in a crop circle flanked by Elvis and that hot latino from Suddenly Susan who also went off the radar.

Months into this blog I extended a tentative invitation to another fellow blogger, and she survived the invitation but has now gone missing for a month, so the curse caught up to her eventually.

Finally, there was one last survivor of the initial blog administrators who somehow managed to duck the evil curse wielded by my invitational prowess. That person was long time friend and ally imTay (tim) who eluded detection apparently by lying so low as to seem dead already. He wrote 1 entry in the first 6 months of the blog. But he is getting bolder now, and has since written three.

I mention this because my posts look a bit like his and his posts look a bit like mine. In fact, by some twist of left-brained fate, our writing styles are similar to such a degree that when he does post, I get confused and it takes me a long time trying to figure out when I wrote the post in question, and what other things I might have done the night before that I don’t remember, before I start to figure out that his posts are not actually mine.

This isn’t really anybody’s fault. If it is, it’s definitely Tim’s fault, and you should tell him so in caps lock. Recently, I read a blog where someone announced (publically) that they had different personalities, and actually gave a name to one of their alter-identities and told readers some of the posts were written by ‘the other guy’.

I found that rather alarming, and more the type of thing you’d want to work on (in a safe and possibly padded environment) instead of embracing publically. But then again, not unlike the homophobe who secretly fears bi-curious aspects of their own deviant self, my paranoia towards signs of imbalance probably has a pretty strong root in self-anxiety.

Given the similarities in our writing styles, I sometimes worry that Tim is a compartmentalized portion of my own brain and I’m doing a gender experiment on all of us. Fortunately, we’ve been friends for 8 years and I know that he actually is a separate person who stands up to pee. Additionally, Tim has resided in Ohio for the last couple years, and if I really need reassurance that we are in fact separate people, I can check out the i.p. number on his comments and then drink a little toast to my tenacious grip on sanity. Win-win.

The main trouble is telling which post is by whom. The vast majority of posts up to this point are mine (amuirins), but a few are his. He will be writing more often now because I’ve just announced publically that he will be, and that form of manipulation generally works pretty good on him.

It would be helpful if none of you cared very much who the posts are by, but ego being what it is, we might run into the same conundrum we did today, where I read his post and had a little girl tantrum, fearing, as I did, that his post made me look fat.

So since I’ve already shouldered responsibility for stealing another site’s ideas today, we’re gonna go all the way with that, and employ the same color coding as used by Unrealistic Expectations to decipher between blog authors. Henceforth, Imtay’s posts will be this color:

Sloppy Chicken Sex.

And amuirin’s posts will be this color:

Bow before me, minions.

If anyone has a problem with this idea, please refer your hate mail and general bad naturedness to one of the posts that are this color.

Thank you, and goodnight.


28 thoughts on “A Brief Es’pinachon

  1. Peekaboo, if I was you I would keep those fingers in your ears. Here is my blog rave, it is impossible to keep control of your ideas, any idea you have will almost certainly turn up again in someoneelses blog and there is nothing at all you can do about it because if you say publicly well I know you read my blog, and those, say, those two words, slow slide, or that idea, blahblahblah which I had never seen til I wrote it turns up there well as soon as you say it all you hear back will be, blahblahblah synchronicty, thoughts spread like unconscious viruses w s borroughs and so on, so in the bloggosphere all concept of originality or intellectual property or even at times just general decency and honesty about the issue seem to break down, I still believe it is possible to have original ideas but I am getting increasingly phobic about giving them away and I would strongly suggest that someone as intelligent, clever, creative as you are, and lets fact Amuirin even more of a shapeshifter than I am, should exercise the same kind of care.

  2. Heh. Heheh. HehehahahBWAHAHAHA!

    Well, damn. Color coding’s a great idea, actually. Wish I would have thought of it.

  3. As usual, Amuirin’s right. That form of manipulation does tend to work pretty well on me, and we do write in spookily similar ways, but we are, in fact, two separate people, even though our brains seem to live in the same frequency spectrum. I’m not nearly as short, short or short as her though. And I do pee standing up.

    But if that wasn’t convincing enough, here’s further proof. Amuirin = beeker on a bender …. Imtay = a fairly goofy looking (but in a cute way) very tall dude who can pronounce the words cinnamon and subliminal without hurting himself, unlike some people.

  4. I don’t think you do write alike, not really, though you both write very well. But as a loyal and fully-paid-up member of the Amuirin fanclub I do have one complaint……old ladies can’t read black blogs, I know, I know, it looks lovely, I’d have one myself, but I’d never be able to read it (grin). Don’t worry, I’ll survive, I’ll just get even more crows feet squinting.

    Paul, you make very valid points to which there seem to be no solutions — sorry, you.

  5. I feel that my hibernation is nearing it’s end. It’s March! I’m glad you missed me and I’m sorry that I’ve been so absent. I have so much to get caught up on.

  6. What? You have multiple personalities too? And they all want to contribute on your blog? But they all sound the same? Which is why they speak in colors? I’m confused. I need a nap. One of my personalities kept me up all night partying. It’s exhausting sharing a brain. :-b

  7. Two for the price of one. Cool.

    And another Ohioan or whatever it is we’re supposed to call ourselves. That’s cool too.

    I didn’t realize old ladies can’t read black blogs. I actually find them easier to read, but maybe I’m not old enough yet to qualify as an old lady. I thought the bi-focals gave me instant membership, but I could be wrong.

  8. Hey jaynova, or jay, or, whatever. I’m in the NE part, near Cleveland.

    PS, Amuirin says I have to end this comment by saying Sloppy. Chicken. Sex.

  9. Wow, disappear for a few days and discover upon return the new blue-purple approach. I’m really glad that you got purple. I just hope I can come to accept Imtay s-ay uchmay s-ay iay (how do you say I in pig Latin?) oday ouyay.

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