wrote Methuselah

It’s a blue sky day. This is kind of turning into a long weekend of celebration. What’s the etiquette on birthdays around here? It seems silly to announce you’re to be a year older, to actually hang a tile out that says ‘This much nearer to hopelessly gray and wrinkly!’ unless there’s some sort of cost/benefit equalizer in the form of presents.

I’ve often demanded presents of my readership, and have been mostly disappointed. You all seem to have a stubborn,, unrelenting non-present policy. The only somewhat successful ploy so far was that time I said ‘No dead squirrels’ and suddenly everyone had a dead squirrel to give away.

Weebles. *sigh*

So since I’ve made the deep, exhaustive sacrifice of announcing my onward march to hagdom, I think I must once more attempt to wring presents from my shiny bright but miserly weebles.

Here goes:

Even though Monday is my birthday, there is no need to give me presents, truly. If you should fill my comments section with poems, youTube messages, and moose pictures, that would be nearly as bad as dead squirrels. So don’t even think about giving me presents, my sweet, darling weebles. I am, after all, only your faithful writing servant trudging wearily and dedicatedly on to old, old, old, old age.

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26 thoughts on “wrote Methuselah

  1. What? What’s that? Speak a little louder, dearie… that’s it… right into my earhorn… What’s that? You say it’s Earth Day and you want me present? Well, I am present, you dern fool… What? You want to be President? Certainly not… at least, not THIS president…

    Heh heh heh… Happy birthday, young lady. Rest assured, I have socks older than you.

  2. Old age. Hmph. As if.

    An early Happy Birthday to you! I’m a firm believer in stretching celebrations out as long as possible. A birthday, I figure, is worth at least a week’s celebration, but a couple days will do if you must.

    I have a present for you. You’ll get it on Monday. :P

  3. It’s a happy birthday
    And aren’t you glad we’re here?
    Have a happy birthday,
    Now go and drink some beer.

    Hope you have a metric tonne of happy birthday, and be sure to eat some Marionberry Pie Ice Cream.

  4. Happy upcoming birthday!

    My astrology book tells me that February 11th is “The Day of Improved Comfort,” and that people born on that day tend to push themselves to rise above their own circumstances, and are often driven to help others overcome their limitations and disabilities (whether literal or emotional) as well.

    That sounds like someone I know.

    (Myself, I am June 11th, “The Day of the Limit-Pusher.” That one still makes me laugh.)

  5. You’ve made ME feel ancient with the teeny tiny text on your page. I had to hit enlarge text TWICE on my Firefox!

    I once had a birthday party, the only one I have ever had, and everyone thought I was absolutely nuts for announcing it as my 40th. They thought I should hide it but I didn’t think so and I didn’t hide it. I announced it on the invitations!

    I thought I would have another birthday party for my 50th but I don’t know anyone in town so no party. Just the kids and me.

    I have 8 years to make friends in this town so I can have a party for my 60th!

  6. This isn’t a present. Nope. Not at all.
    I mean, would I go and do a Google image search for Moose pictures? Nuh uh. Not I.
    So, nope, this isn’t one.

    OK, so I’m weak. And it’s a pretty nice picture, just marginally less cute than mismatched socks. Oh, yeah, Happy Birthday!

  7. I was going to tell you the same old tired dribble about how you’re over-reacting and 30 isn’t old. You have the rest of you’re life to look forward to and all that shit.

    The truth is this. 30 sucks. Your 20’s -the best years- are gone. Forever. Soon you’ll start to get aches and pains in places you’ve never had before. That stroll down the beach will begin to seem more like a quest with each passing year, and since you’re a woman you can look forward to your sex drive going into overdrive right around the same time the sex drives of men your age tank. (Your early thirtysomething man still has a few good years in him, so you better gitty up!).

    You’re going to go grey. Maybe not right away, and maybe not a lot, but as soon as you see one you can expect more and more until you turn into that little blue haired lady that can barely see over the steering wheel. Yep, grey hair spreads like crabs jumping off of Paris Hilton in a night club.

    It’s all downhill from here.

    Happy Birthday

  8. So I’m assuming that Gorilla Guys is right, that you are indeed 30…….. I don’t agree with him though, for me it was 40 when all that crap/good stuff ;) started happening

    Here is a wonderful poem of Michael Ryan’s which I didn’t think I’d be able to find on line but what do you know……..enjoy, and have a wonderful, wonderful birthday…….do something wild and crazy just for the hell of it:

    http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19264

  9. Pingback: A pony « Bountiful Healing

  10. ty weebles! You shouldn’t have… (Lie! that’s a lie.)

    I’m goin through slowly, & Jo…, just read that poem. Wow. wow. Can only say thanks for that link. Wow.

    hi david, and thanks!

    GG’s- See, what’s cool about bein’ 31 is I can read that and instead of goin’ ‘wtf is he thinking writing that to me on my birthday’? I can go… oh. This is probably more about the day he’s having than the day I’m about to have.

    nectarfizz- yay! another muppet fan. Jim Henson is on a par with Jesus ’round here.

  11. stephanie- merci! Boy that kid was overcome.

    imtayopay- Now that is a moose. You’re like a birthday genie; I’ve been just walking around *holding* my book. Not reading it, just dragging it from room to room like a magic talisman.

    david- oh, let’s swap. That limit-pusher one sounds like the fun one. You can have my improved comfort and I’ll take my newfound identity to the family get together tonight. I’m sure they’d love that.

    Corina- Really? It’s tiny? It looks kinda normal sized in Safari. I wonder if it’s tiny for other people too.

    weird.

    Molo- Thank you… that actually sounds like a good idea for breakfast!

    hi gingatao; that put me in mind of a chrysalis.

  12. Robin- I’m glad you noticed the header. It seemed like a good week for fraggles. And thanks for the very cute pony. :)

    Sarah- thank you, it seemed to work on the weekend, so there ya go.

    Bob- lol …well, I would want you present on Earth Day. I have a feeling you’d make it interesting.

    tpgoddess- aquarians, we tend to cluster, y’know. When you’re a water bearer, you don’t want to be the only one in the room with swollen ankles (or somethin)

    anhinga- you too? Thank you! And thanks for the subscription to ‘Moose Monthly’ that was a nice touch.

  13. how ’bout that… i’m an Aquarian, too. Mine was on the 23rd of last month. Happy Birthday Amuirin! If i was there I would give you really big, tight happy birthday squeezes. But since I’m not… this will have to do. And you can bet I’d be trying to cop a feel like this moose is doing. : )

  14. jules- wow. For a second that totally freaked me out, cus I have a coat like that, too. I was thinking, ‘how’d he get a picture of me in Disneyland?’ cus it’s so similar to one where I was getting a character squeeze.

    Awesome. Thanks.

  15. Merry Christmas!

    No, that’s not right, is it?

    I actually decided not to age after I hit 21, so birthdays don’t bother me.

    Anyway, happy…31st? My 31st is coming in a few months. Shhhhhh!

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