I’ve gotta get my head out of my ass.
I was invited to go on a snow vacation, have snowball fights and drink cocoa, flirt with ski bums and wear pretty sweaters; all that good shit for *free* outside the cost of food. And I was seriously on the fence about it. Shouldn’t I stay home and make a little more money for next Friday’s last minute shopping? (and spend my evenings at home listening to mopey music, taking warm baths, and medicating my fucked up cat?)
When I gave this solid reasoning to my g.f. (who in all fairness was counting on me for her invitation) she lost all patience and called me a smurf.
Yep. A smurf.
“Oh my god! You’re a fucking smurf!”
“I’m a … smurf?”
“Yes. You’re all sad and blue and sad, give it a rest! You just shrink all up till you’re this little tragi-muffin smurf thing afraid to poke her head out and smile.”
“You’re a smurf!”
“Is this a pep talk? This is a weird pep talk.”
“It’s the truth! Let’s go play in the freakin’ snow, for fuck sakes, Alissa.”
“And buck up! Or I’ll squish you.”
“Don’t squish me. Im a tragi-muffin. We’re delicate.”
“Okay, Sunday then.”
“No more smurf.”
“Nope. Smurf all gone.”
And I meant it, at least for the week. At least until Christmas Eve, and if I have a little melancholy then, I’m entitled since a number of people find Christmas an excellent time to overdose on sleeping pills. All I’m intending is a few rounds of Tammy Wynette wailing ‘Blue Christmas’ on the turntable, which never hurt anyone except their ears.
So I’ll be back in a week. Making a last round today, and I post-dated a season’s greeting, in hopes that my cheering throng of blog readers won’t miss me and will feel appreciated. Both of them.
But if something goes technically fubar, I’ll say it now: Have a Merry Christmas you fabulous weeble-butts. I think you guys are the bomb diggity, and thanks for enduring my slumps and caterwauling.
(And just to cover my bases: Remember, ‘Be Kind to Smurfs’ day is coming up on the 19th. You can find my wishlist under barfignewton at Amazon.com.)
Ho Ho Ho
Love ya, Rache…