baccione!

Greetings from the luckiest girl in the world.

lucky1.jpg

As of when? Hm. It’s been awhile now. I try not to let on, you know. I don’t want to make less lucky people feel envious or anything… When yer all like, glowy and shit you can afford that little compassion.

But today I want to sound my barbaric YAWP! over the rooftops of the world….

Why am I the luckiest girl? I was hoping you’d ask!

The first reason is simply, because I do what I love. Sometimes I do it poorly, sometimes I can barely do it at all. I may not get to keep doing it forever. When I’m doing it well, I’m cranky and intolerable. But damnit, I *love* what I do, don’t let the scowl, the absent-mindedness or the basic distraction fool you. To have the opportunity to get to do what you love with your time, even if it’s only for a year, that rocks the casbah. It is not an opportunity to be squandered.

And firstly, (because it is even more first, I was just shy about putting it first) I’m lucky because…

oh, hey, still shy. How bout that. Ah well, see my smiling face? That big-ass dopey grin? The little spots of pink on each side? Let’s see what kind of a detective you can be.

Additionally, everyone in my close family is healthy. This is huge. One day my dearest and darlingest grandparents aren’t going to be well and good, and that will be devastating to me, but today, everyone is good. Everyone is here. Everyone is well with no overlooming crisis for the holidays. That’s huge. And it’s so easy to forget… to take good health for granted unless you’ve lost someone to the terrible ravages of illness. Health of loved ones is so inherent to joy, it’s almost overlooked.

So I was thinking I’m not so much ready to do the Christmas thing, but that wasn’t really it. I feel a lot of joy this season, a lot of gratitude and good will. What I’m not into, or ready for is to get into the consumer part yet. Ironically, I know this because I’m going Christmas shopping today. It feels freakin’ weird. It feels like Christmas shopping in July, that’s how not into the consumer spirit I am feeling.

Possibly the lights and the blaring music at the retail outlet mall, and the rush for stuff, and the shop windows will light my soul afire with the need to decorate, bake and buy; but I rather hope not.

Sometimes Christmas is less but more than that. One of my favorite stories is an essay in the book ‘Pine Island Paradox’ by Kathleen Dean Moore, where her family forsakes the traditions of a big meal and copious gifts, to travel to a distant shore and wait in the darkness to watch Giant Sea Turtles crawl up on a beach in the night, and lay their precious, endangered eggs.

I thought that was so cool. Her grown children were beside her, she talks about the feeling of knowing her children and her husband won’t always be there in the dark by her side, and how she just wants to experience that shared moment so badly. Much more than a holiday whose details will blur into the many years of similar rituals.

Rituals are anchor and safety and comfort, but they’re just as important to break sometimes, so that you feel the difference. So that you feel alive.

At any rate, I’m off to go get consumered up. At least there will be Moose Munch.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We lay on the sand with our hands clasped behind our heads and watched the night. I want to tell what it meant to me, to lie on that wild beach with my husband and our grown-up children, together again in that darkness, in that warm air. We could hear the quiet surge of the sea and sometimes the scratching of ghost crabs. Stars reflected on the wet strand- not points of light, but streaks pointing toward the beach, as if sand knew something about starlight we could only imagine. There was the smell of salt-dampened sand, and just a hint of skunk. Sometimes, a lightning bug flashed. I said to myself, hold on to this. Float on the joy of it. Feel the embrace of this little family. This will not happen again in your lifetime.

– Kathleen Dean Moore

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19 thoughts on “baccione!

  1. Everything does seem earlier this year. I feel like I’m about 1.5 months behind where we really are. In my mind it should be the middle of October still.

    I learned yesterday why that is though, they have been speeding everything up digitally and re-syncing the audio so that they can fit in more commercial breaks.

  2. I couldn’t agree with you more. On every account here. And likewise, I might have called myself the luckiest guy ( :) ), if I wasn’t so astoundingly disturbed about global warming, though… :(

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  4. Slothboy- Too funny. Yeah, I read that on your site (how’d he pull that rabbit out of his ass?) I wouldn’t be surprised if corporate America had figured out a way to slip more commercials into time its own self.

    narziss- You said it. Christmas isn’t too easy on the global habitat, is it? All that electricity and additional packaging waste. Just wait, someone’s gonna find a way to market ‘Green Christmas’ as opposed to a white christmas. But no one will dare suggest cancelling the thing.

    Ron- Good to see you! I read you were a bit bored in Lima? IF you can’t find a p.w., i suppose we could find a short kid and make one.

  5. Well, if you just look at the shows there is pretty clearly something up with them. He either was able to just reason it out, or he had read it somewhere but just didn’t remember reading it, or both, or he just got lucky.

    Or HE’S THE ONE DOING IT.

  6. slothboy- I would have just assumed they edit some of the program out. Seems like they do that a lot. Must be option C.

    rtd13- *slyly* would you like to do my Christmas shopping? Hate to think of you bored.

  7. This was a happy read. :)

    I’ve decided to bring back our Christmas lava lamp tradition this year. Instead of a tree, we put our gifts under the lava lamp (which belongs to my youngest son who inherited a love of shiny things and lights from his mother). It’s smaller than a tree, meaning fewer gifts, and less money spent on things nobody needs. (I hate to shop.)

    The real reason, though, has more to do with kittens than shopping and spending.

    R(etc…) was at a really cool looking shopping center in Peru. Maybe you can talk him into going back there to do your shopping.

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  10. My comments aren’t taking today. One more try for the short version which doesn’t include a suggestion for Ron on doing your shopping for you or the Christmas lava lamp.

    This was a happy read. :)

  11. I’ve decided no shopping this year. I’ve been on a consumption-free kick this past year and one of the things I do is bake cookies and put them in pretty boxes and bingo. Gift. Christmas makes me sad now. It used to be my favorite holiday, but no more. Maybe I’ll blog about it if I feel up to it. Maybe not. We’ll see.

  12. “even more first” what a wonderful smile that is. i put ‘joy’ in the search box and the beautiful thing about this piece is that the joy radiates out from the secret which you almost show us, through that beautiful smile into the world, your family. i thought the secret was in the first word of your quotation, ‘we’. you are a fantastic writer and it makes me very happy to have somewhere i can visit and read not only perfectly natural and honest and effortless prose but also to spend time with someone young and alive and searching. i am old but it is reading writing as gifted as this that makes me feel like life is an amazing adventure, have a wonderful shhhmas, amuirin, full of joy,

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