How come can openers don’t kill people? I was looking at my can opener today, more closely than you can look at a can opener without getting uncomfortable. We use the manual kind that you twist with one hand while the other hand holds the two handles clamped together.
We never put the can opener in the dishwasher. Ever. I don’t know why you don’t, maybe it rusts or something, but that’s the can opener etiquette I learned growing up. Usually, after you use the can opener you give it a perfunctory rinsing under the faucet, then shove it back in its drawer.
The guck around the cogs and wheels is rust colored. It’s scary. My dad’s can opener always had guck around it’s little wheel/cog opening things. So did my mom’s. So does mine. I don’t know if some of that guck is like a lubricant that they put on it, to keep the can opener can opening, or if the guck is the accumulated detrimus of things that have been can opened in years gone by.
Think of all the things you open with a can opener: Cat-food, tuna-fish, canned fruit, chili, soup, green beans, etc. That little steel thing touches all those foods, over and over again.
Wouldn’t you think the stuff on the can opener would rot or mold or botchulate? Seems like the can opener would become freakishly toxic after a time. Seems like it could kill anything it touched after awhile. Additionally, it ought to glow green.
But no. I’ve been in living situations where the same can opener was used for years and years and it never killed anybody. That’s kind of amazing.
Maybe the ominous gunky stuff is magic. Maybe the big companies developed a special gunk that would neutralize all food stuffs till the end of time. Maybe the safety of can-openers is one of those mysteries, like the Bermuda Triangle that will never be adequately solved.
But it sure makes me wonder.