It’s a very Oregon day: Dark, grey, drizzly.
I kind of like it. I donno why. Aos featured a song by Garbage on his yellow video compilation, “I’m only happy when it rains”; but I swear I had these ideas first.
Something somber and melancholy in the soul likes the overcast, the failed morning. I like the dark quality of the light that makes it through the blinds. My cat has crept in here and curled up for the semi-company of typing keys and quiet breathing. All the world has made its busy, dreary way to work and it’s me and the pets now; and whatever I can wrangle from myself on screen.
I guess we get along okay. It isn’t Tuesday’s fault that it’s Tuesday, it’s not my fault that I no longer wanna ‘thrust in the opposite direction’ when the black sheep of the week pokes its head in.
I’m a very happy girl, here in the melancholy. My soul needs the quiet, the solitary as much as it needs the pure joy of last night’s perfect company. This is when I can be my dark, blank self, and wrestle the fine mud of my being into something more scrutable; like words and tennishoes.
“The eyes open to a cry of pulleys,
And spirited from sleep, the astounded soul
Hangs for a moment bodiless and simple
As false dawn.” – Richard Wilbur, Love Calls Us to the Things of This World