Burned, Drowned & Poisoned

This is just not my week. On Sunday, I baked cookies. I did one of those automatic brainless things and put my hand on the cookie sheet to steady it when I was removing the cookies with a spatula.

Ouch. It wasn’t a bad burn, but fingers have tons of nerve endings, and it hurt like a mutha…

Monday, during Si’s two hours of back to back lessons, I decided to wander down to the beach. The tide was in quite a-ways, but there was still some beach. There’s a cliff that runs along the full, wide stretch of sandy coastline. At one point, the cliff side slopes out, so if the tide is in too far you can’t get past this point. The tide wasn’t in too far. There were a couple of inches of water, so I picked my way along a rocky ledge over the water, finding a path across the breach.

Except… except the biggest sneaker wave I’ve ever experienced crashed in when I was about a third of the way along. I saw it coming, but there was little I could do about it from my tenuous position. The force of the wave, about three feet over my perch when it reached me, was enough to knock me off the ledge, and it freaked me out a lot because the water kept rising. It stopped about half-way up my torso, so I wasn’t in any real danger, but it was COLD, and it shakes you up to find yourself trapped against a cliff face with a great big ocean pouring in on you.

I didn’t like the sensation;
nor the sodden drippy walk about a quarter mile back, and up the steep road to drive home quickly and change before dance got out.

Eventful week. There’s more.

Yesterday… I won’t talk about the more personal contents of what befell yesterday, but in the realm of the purely physical, I noticed I’d been bitten by something yesterday morning. I noticed it a lot more about four hours later, when an area of about three and a half inches diamater around the bite had turned pink and swelled, alarmingly.

Some kind of spider. Obviously venomous. And likely still clinging to the underparts of my bed. Ugghh. I don’t think it’s an emergency since I haven’t keeled over yet, but it’s unpleasant. I had a few heart palpitations, but I’m weighing the cost of an emergency room visit against the fact that I still seem to be functional, and I think since I let it go 24 hours I might as well let it go 24 more and see what happens. I hope I don’t end up with an ugly mark that never heals on my leg. That would piss me off.

So that’s my week truncated. Burning, drowning, poisoning. . . I wonder, oh I wonder what tomorrow holds in store.

Maybe I should just stab myself in the eye and get it over with.


In this charming, side-raised pic of my appendage, it’s kinda hard to see the area infected with poison. I was messing with settings, and when I underexposed it all the way, the poison part showed up eerily vivid. Also, it made my whole leg look dead which put me in mind of the fun little story they’re discussing at Unrealistic Expectations. Why are you looking at me like that? Don’t tell me you have something better to do than ogle my boo-boos.



19 thoughts on “Burned, Drowned & Poisoned

  1. Got you beat. My wife’s grandfather died on our wedding anniversary. The “quality” makes up for quantity. It must be the moon or some other cosmic force conspiring against us.

    I sympathize with the boo boo. I was bitten by something as I slept one night, below my right eye. It was swollen shut the better part of a day. Perhaps some antihistamines…

  2. they give race horses venom, your metabolism will surely increase, take advantage of the extra energy and have a better weekend, its right around the corner!

    let me know if you start climbing walls too, need a favor

    i used to have this ole toy, i still want it back, a hard ceramic ball with a string, and very long streamer attached. i only got one use out of it, first throw, gone, but i think it was a blessing in disguise, for whatever reason i was the only one dissapointed when i ran outside with it on my birthday day, and the first throw, in all its glory of course (probably could never get that height, or arc, or olympic-like beauty of the glittery streaming tail again, nor the crowd reaction for that) as it landed on the roof and rolled into the gutter

    sad thing is, i never got to see it fly, all second hand accounts, as i was concentrating too much on the wind up, and then watching the faces and reactions from the crowd of elders, and family, that came out to watch, and almost…


  3. I hope it’s not a poisoned spider bite…
    It hasn’t been my week spider-wise. There was this huge spider in my living room, and since I’m the only one around here who is not that afraid of them, I was the one throwing the thing out. But it was HUGE! Juk!

  4. Wow. What did you do to God?

    If your heart is palpatating, you should at least go to the doctor, you know, so they can tell you you’re alright and give you a huge bill!

  5. Wow, that is one gorgeous spider bite. So glowy and pink. Yes, I would have to agree with David… you have now had all of your bad luck. Buy a lottery ticket, quickly.

  6. Two weekends ago when I went backpacking, my dog managed to give me a horrendous rope burn on my leg with the rope that he was tied to. It actually melted through the polyester long underwear I was wearing. Earlier this week it was infected and painful. I should have put up a picture; it would have put your bite to shame. ;) It’s still pretty ugly, actually, although it’s definitely getting better. And it is DEFINITELY going to scar. Oh well, scars add character, right?

    I hope your spider bite gets better soon. Sorry for showing you up. ;)

  7. You see this is one of the reasons I live up here. If you were here you would not get bitten by big spiders under your bed, no snakes to speak of, and bears are usually not in the back yard. The great big masses of white stuff serves a purpose.
    And re Stevo’s comment: many years ago my best friend came over for a drink and to decompress a little: that day his father had died an hour after his daughter (first child) was born.

  8. i hafta thank pmousse here.

    No one else thought to compliment my bite. It *is* rather pretty and glowy, now that you mention it. ~admires~

    stevo- very sorry to hear about your wife’s grandfather. I hope she was able to see him before he went.

    fish- for a sec, i thought you were bein pornographic. as queen of the non-sequitur, other people’s tend to baffle me. I didn’t know that about the race-horse/venom thing.

    david- “Here’s hopin!” she said, as the sky crashed down on her head.

    Celia- like… like… how big we talkin here? You’re in another country so your spiders might be way worse. My grandmother told me that spiders used to climb the walls when she lived in Japan and they were the size of her hand. Huge. Hairy. Soft-bodied…

    I’d never sleep.

    jaynova- you’re right. I thought it would be a girl who gave me that advice first. Tell the Otter that you’re a very nurturing soul, and then tell God I didn’t mean it.

    teaspoon- Hiya, that sounds horrible. You must have a powerful pup. You can show me up, it’s cool. Misery loves company they say (I’ve actually never gotten that.) And hope yer weekend proves less dangerous.

    lisamm- might be a good idea

    aos- that’s hilarious. because I say this to everyone else. “No scorpions, no poisonous snakes, mountains, oceans, fields and trees.. the PNW’s the shit.’ We have the moderate climates year round and a notable lack of white stuff. If my leg falls off, I’ll give Canada a look-see though.

  9. Definitely get the spider bite checked. My husband seems to get four or so a year, and the area around the bite turns hard. Like it dies. It comes back, of course, but depending on your sensitivity, you might have a pretty strong reaction. He always does, and it takes a while for the venom to work its way completely out of his system.

  10. Just watch for the red line marching up your vein. That is when you go get antibiotics pronto. My roommate in college woke up with a spider bit and ignored it until the red line started going towards the family jewels. That will motivate a chap to visit the doctornator.

    You could just have aos ship you some. I hear prescription drugs grow on trees up there.

  11. ybonesy- yup. that’s just what’s happening… I wonder if he’s bein gnawed on by the brown recluse. You’re in the right climate for it.

    Sloth- lol, yeah, i can see how that would inspire quick action.

    ouch- No thanks, I ate already.

  12. Well, it was the size of an egg (including his 8 extremly hairy legs)! That doesn’t sound big, but the spiders that usally crawl around my house are the size of small coin… And it was hairy, our spiders arn’t hairy, this is a very cold climate, not Hairy Spider Climate..

  13. Damn unlucky, although there is a 1 in 1000000 chance of you being able to shoot webs out of your hands now, you any good with superhero embroidery? That Spider-Man costume looks good but must be a pain in the ass to make.

  14. david b.- I’m afraid to try. Might fall of a roof to cap things off. ;)

    Celia- Wow. A rogue hairy giant spider. That’s almost more disconcerting than if they were common there.

    Mrs. Hand- I hope you are feeling better now.

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