Little Cup of Joe

Here, have a little cup of Joe.

Doesn’t that evoke all sorts of nonsense in your head? Like, maybe you really have this guy Joe in a mug. Maybe way back in the beginning of time, he screwed up big time right? And ended up being doomed to become the preferred breakfast beverage by some cantankerous God who found this Joe character really offensive.

Kind of like that vain dandy, Narcissus, the one who got turned into a corsage.

So like, now Joe is languishing his millennia over in a multitude of amateur pottery projects, and in those little Styrofoam cups where his Joey droplets are going to dry out and cling to something that will quietly fail to decompose over the next couple hundred thousand years. Ouch.

And you? You just drink that lame ol’ fella down, because he gets you jumpstarted, he gets you revved up. You know it.

I can only imagine what nameless offense Joe committed, but it must have been really bad because otherwise he wouldn’t be getting sucked past fuzzy morning teeth; reeking, slug like tongues.

If you really didn’t care about the Joe thing, you could drink the stuff, I guess.

But me? I have these compassionate bones, you know? These empathetic heart strings. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I can’t.

So I drink Herbal Tea in the mornings.

(Whoever that weirdo ‘Herb’ was, he probly deserved it.)



21 thoughts on “Little Cup of Joe

  1. This is really funny. Do you know when you’ve written something really funny?

    I can’t tell with my own stuff. So, I figured I’d best tell you that this is really funny. There are several levels of cleverness to it that fit together beautifully.

    That’s all I want to say right now. It has reminded me of an anecdote but I will save it for later.


    Good punchline. Steve is desperately hoping the header is you.

    “A/S/L? PICS? ORLY?”

    I’ll take Joe any day. Bastard owes me five bucks.

  3. aos- I just … I don’t know quite what to say.

    Stevo- thanks. I’m experimenting.

    R. Hand- Not usually. Sometimes what I think is funny, no one else does. You never know what’s going to jive with the grand majority. I think the key is to try not to care and just do your thing. Also, candy. Candy is the key.

    Slothboy- why, good morning fine sir. (nakedness is best punctuated with british good manners) In this instance, I gotta vouch for Steve’s aesthetic sensibility. He’s married to a beautiful wife and he’s a photographer so it was a non-pervy appreciation, lol… at least I think so.

    It’s not me. I stole it. I like my body but not enough to paste it in its birthday glory all over my blog.

    Celia- Heartless! Heartless, i tell you… ;)

  4. my favorite are people that drink coffee and then put their noses up to people that drink a beer or have a smoke or whatever

    a nice hot cup of coffee on a cold morning, no different than a warm smoke outside in the cold, like a cool beer on a hot summer day too

    i had to prove a point at work once (keyword, once)

    i hid the coffee pots, all of them


  5. so are dead bodies all over the road, FACT.
    and heart attacks, FACT.

    oh and coffee breath, and teeth, LOL, now that is disgusting!


    I’ve been trying to convince my wife to let me take a similar photo. No joy yet.

    Cigarettes, disgusting? Smoking is the coolest thing ever.

  7. IF YOU SEE KAY, tell her I’m looking for her. (Y guy, I don’t know where that came from, except it’s Steve’s fault. Sorry to sully your blog with it, though, amuirin.)

  8. From the NYT today…a food breakthrough!!

    Guided by a Mattson chef, Mr. Richardson used a syringe to inject propylene glycol alginate, espresso and sugar into a martini glass of calcium lactate and water to create “javiar” — java and caviar — which he ate on toast as a palate cleanser.

    Now doesn’t that sound just delish???

  9. I don’t like Joe. Or rather, Joe doesn’t like me. I drink a little cup of Joe and Joe gives me big time jitters, jives and shakes.

    I’ll settle for a cup (or pot) of green tea.

  10. Your double cocktail lunch comment is pretty hilarious in the context of this post, I must say.

    Hot chocolate or green tea for me, I’m afraid. Like Robin, Joe gives me the shakes.

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