Gimme gimme snack cakes

It’s Monday again. If you’re feeling singularly uninspired, um, that’s why.

Do you know they have all the Halloween costumes up in the stores now? Maybe it’s not so strange but here in town at the local Rite Aid, they put their Halloween stuff up the last week of AUGUST.

That’s just kinda gross. Wanna make wagers on the first Christmas crap sightings?

What I want today is a Ho-ho. I ruined my physiological balance last night by having Coca-cola topped with an energy drink for dinner.

I didn’t think it would give me energy. It gave me jitters. The sugar bomb left me wacked out this morning. Both dehydrated and awful-feeling. Gotta love sugar. It’s basically low grade poison. I want more…

Hair of the dog, dontcha know. The only thing that can really cheer you up from a sugar crash is more poison. Something stiff too, not just chocolate milk on rice krispies. Maybe a nice bowl of milk duds.

That would be… unwise.

I’m going to read people this week and only talk in mindless little blurbs like this. Lets lay odds on the Christmas madness though. I’ll bet you one porno poem and a box of Cracker jacks that the first Christmas crap is gonna arrive in a pile of glorious consumer madness on November the 1st.

Anyone wanna up my ante?

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16 thoughts on “Gimme gimme snack cakes

  1. There’ll be Christmas marketing materials up for grabs by the end of September. In fact, I believe that Costco and Wal-mart have already fired the first shots of Yuletide madness, kicking several on the East Coast into S.O.-S.A.D. early this year.

  2. I saw christmas stuff at Toys R Us yesterday. I think they were thinly disguised as potential halloween outfits, but they were elves and santa and stuff.

    It was either Toys R Us or Target. Those are the two stores I visited yesterday.

    Also, as far as your sugar bomb, you had no sugar. You had High fructose corn syrup. That stuff is a lot worse for you than sugar. Your body can digest actual sugar much easier because it is natural.

  3. How about a bet where if you lose you don’t get any sugar or caffeine for a month? That’s an up’ped ante. Except, you already got this bet landed. It would have to be something new. Hmmm…I’m going to think about what it could be. Hey, but Day of the Dead and the sugar skulls are coming, so there’s something to inspire…

  4. ybonesy- Calaveras de Azucar! Dios De Los Muertos is my favorite holiday… :)

    Slothboy- right you are. high sugar corn syrup, that awful damned stuff. It’s cool that you spent part of the weekend hangin’ at a toy shop.

    Molo- Yer likely right but I hope not. Did the experts append Seasonal Affective Disorder or did youdo that?

    handward- of… of what? what are you copying? I’m confused.

    rtd- duly noted.

  5. The Hallmark store has had the collectible Christmas ornaments out for several weeks now. You know ,another Homer Simpson, another Scarlet O’Hara another Nascar racecar, all things that are so closely related to Christmas.

  6. My apologies for the confusing nature of my comment above. It was Monday. Things like that happen on a Monday. I make confusing comments. I make 67 copies (double-sided and hole punched) of something that I only needed one copy of and make no copies at all of the thing I needed 67 copies of on the previous Friday but had somehow not copied then and so I needed the copies yesterday earlier than later.

  7. The Evil Empire (Wal-Mart) had one of those giant inflatable Santas out in July. But I’m guessing October 1st is when the Christmas spirit will really invade.

    I think that’s true of all poisons that make you think they make you feel good. There’s always that need for more, more, more.

  8. Amuirin, you beat me to the punch. I had it in the back of my head to pull together a post on the same ghoulish topic, after three people made holiday comments to me in mid September. One was finding out a co-worker had already selected a costume for her dog. (Dressing up dogs is a topic that makes me wince slightly, as I smile appreciatively.)

    She was dressing her dog Alphie up as superman (he liked it). Someone else, a day later, suggested something else would make a good pet costume (mid Sept? what the hell is happening, thunk I). And then my supervisor, seeing a photo of the weird off-orange primer used to coat our house before painting, said, “leave it that way for Halloween” and I jumped. Thrice in about 3 days — and all way too soon, as Madelaine Kahn (almost) said in Young Frankenstein.

  9. Robin- me too! That header might not have been the best idea.. heh.

    More.

    Ben- Yoooooooouu are the spirit of Halloween present. Yep, it’s all pretty much your fault.

    People who dress up their dogs kinda freak me out. But maybe we should dress up jordy this year… I think he’d be cute as a butterball turkey.

  10. Been drinking a lot of so-called ‘energy drinks’ lately, liquids loaded with caffeine and glucose amongst god-knows-what else, I like the taste even if the health hazards are yet to be discovered and will probably turn out to be catastrophic for my good self.

  11. Yes, I saw Christmas knicknacks (what a great word) at Costco several weeks ago.

    I find that I have to drink only water. Anytime I drink something that tastes sweet (even if the sweetener is artificial), I end up craving other sweet things for days. Those cravings subside if I drink only water.

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