Does he come with a warranty?

I get stupid spam emails all the time, particularly the ones where someone is dying of a horrible disease in a foreign country, and if I will only give them my bank account number, I can have a portion of their mind boggling riches.

Yeah. *clicks delete*

Today I got one that caught my eye a little, though. ‘You are qualified to refiance!’

Really?

re-fiancé? Well…. now… that’s something to think about. I actually know a little something about this, having been engaged 4 times, twice to the same man (and none of these actually resulted in marriage).

There’s a saying that goes, ‘Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride.’ Since the last 5 years have been surprisingly engagement free, I’m starting to think ‘Four times a fiancee, stop kissing freakin’ frogs.’

(I don’t really think that.)

(I was just bein alliterative.)

But refiancé… I mean, this idea has potential. Send a brochure… I’ll actually read the fine print.

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10 thoughts on “Does he come with a warranty?

  1. I often think we (women) need a warranty more than the men do, the way they can wear us out.

    (Take that however you want, but just because I experimented with being a blog-hussy doesn’t mean that’s all I think about.)

  2. I get spam emails too. I think the spammers haven’t got a good handle on targeting their market. I get weight loss advertisements. I don’t need them. I get ads for looking at pictures of young women with no clothes on. I don’t want that. But, the very best ones that I’ve had were ads for septic tank replacement. I don’t have a septic tank.

  3. Robin- Why oh why will wookie-butt men work their women into wanting a warranty? When will they ever…wearn.

    Paul- indeed yes. It seems like an endorsement for french kissing, doesn’t it?

    hi handward, and welcome to Stop and Wander. But do you want a septic tank? That’s what I want to know.

  4. I don’t think I’d mind a having a septic tank though I’m not sure where I’d put it. I don’t think it is possible for me to get a replacement septic tank without having one in the first place.

    That does remind me of one of my children. Before turning two, that child often demanded more food prior to having any food in the first place. I think that the child thought ‘more’ meant ‘good’ since I only ever offered ‘more’ food when the food that had been there was good enough to have been completely consumed.

  5. I once worked with a very dour, cynical Russian printer. His family had fled to Shanghai during WW2, and then to SF after the war. He had a circle of dour, gloomy friends who specialized in nihilistic and cynical humor with him.

    His idea of a really rich joke was his weekend marriage license. They printed a bunch up. He passed them around. Ostensiby, you filled in the weekend date, the two of you signed your names, and then drove off for a honeymoon of humping all weekend, with no strings attached for the next week.

    You could “re-fiance” weekend after weekend, that way.

  6. I’m not looking to ‘refiance’, but when the time for such craziness does come, I’ll be ready. As a single papa, I’m ‘divorcified’ like that.

  7. andy- and this explains it? God, I’m good.

    O- did the brides know it was a weekend license? If they were in on it, it’s not a bad idea, really. Particularly in places like China where you hafta have papers to get it on.

    New business venture!

    GG’s- single dad… not an easy route. I hope your future craziness is all the good kind.

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