This is another hussy experiment. Yeah, I might have visited the Yahoo Buzz again.
Yahoo’s buzz index tells you what the recent ‘hot searches’ are on Yahoo. I don’t know if Google has a buzz. I assume this is privileged information as Google advances slowly but surely toward world domination. Their mind-boggling access to internet search information is surely gonna start costing something, along the line.
But back to bimbo-ing my blog. Apparently baby pictures of celebrities are super hot right now, spurred in part by the reproductive endeavors of Tiger Woods. All sorts of celebrities are riding the crest though, from Brooke Shields and her yester-year hottie ilk to Ashley Tisdale of right-this-minute ‘Highschool Musical’ fame.
Well that’s all just really sweet, but I’d rather post pittbulls gnawing on kittens than give Johnny Depp in diapers a feature on my little lot of internet property.
It’s all good, because another consistently hot search is ‘shark pictures’. People just can’t get enough of predators, so like, brainstorm! Baby pictures of sharks!
Inevitably, I went and learned something while I was sifting the net for inspiration. Funny thing… you know what’s creepy about baby sharks?
Everything. Everything is totally creepy. Baby sharks are a totally creeped up scenario. Many species of baby shark turn cannibal in the womb, and make a snack of their siblings in a prenatal bid for survival. Whose hungry?
It’s a little hard to find a decent picture of a baby shark, because without some object nearby to give a size perspective, baby sharks look remarkably like big sharks. They are shaped the same, they look the same, and they have the same dead, cold look in their eyes. Baby sharks entirely miss the ‘adorable baby’ bandwagon.
Then, too, there’s the funny way they can go and get born. I’m not saying the usual method of conception is ‘uncreepy’ to an outside observer, but in lieu of a proper mate and some hot and heavy shark copulation, some species of female sharks can make-like-an-aphid and reproduce by means of parthenogenesis.
In popular media, this is touted as virgin birth. Not the least of the flaws in this descriptor is that the mass populous shouldn’t go correlating a female Hammerhead with a biblical icon of Christianity, but additionally, parthenogenetic reproduction does not preclude a girl shark ever having had sex. To be blunt, just cus she reproduces female genes, doesn’t mean she’s a virgin. It just means no males were involved in the creation of those particular offspring.
At any rate, let’s see how these creepy babies measure up against a golf pro’s progeny. I’m guessing that despite their gratifying creepiness, they won’t even muster par.