Adorable Baby Shark Pictures… As if.

This is another hussy experiment. Yeah, I might have visited the Yahoo Buzz again.

Yahoo’s buzz index tells you what the recent ‘hot searches’ are on Yahoo. I don’t know if Google has a buzz. I assume this is privileged information as Google advances slowly but surely toward world domination. Their mind-boggling access to internet search information is surely gonna start costing something, along the line.

But back to bimbo-ing my blog. Apparently baby pictures of celebrities are super hot right now, spurred in part by the reproductive endeavors of Tiger Woods. All sorts of celebrities are riding the crest though, from Brooke Shields and her yester-year hottie ilk to Ashley Tisdale of right-this-minute ‘Highschool Musical’ fame.

Well that’s all just really sweet, but I’d rather post pittbulls gnawing on kittens than give Johnny Depp in diapers a feature on my little lot of internet property.

It’s all good, because another consistently hot search is ‘shark pictures’. People just can’t get enough of predators, so like, brainstorm! Baby pictures of sharks!


Inevitably, I went and learned something while I was sifting the net for inspiration. Funny thing… you know what’s creepy about baby sharks?

Everything. Everything is totally creepy. Baby sharks are a totally creeped up scenario. Many species of baby shark turn cannibal in the womb, and make a snack of their siblings in a prenatal bid for survival. Whose hungry?


It’s a little hard to find a decent picture of a baby shark, because without some object nearby to give a size perspective, baby sharks look remarkably like big sharks. They are shaped the same, they look the same, and they have the same dead, cold look in their eyes. Baby sharks entirely miss the ‘adorable baby’ bandwagon.


Then, too, there’s the funny way they can go and get born. I’m not saying the usual method of conception is ‘uncreepy’ to an outside observer, but in lieu of a proper mate and some hot and heavy shark copulation, some species of female sharks can make-like-an-aphid and reproduce by means of parthenogenesis.

In popular media, this is touted as virgin birth. Not the least of the flaws in this descriptor is that the mass populous shouldn’t go correlating a female Hammerhead with a biblical icon of Christianity, but additionally, parthenogenetic reproduction does not preclude a girl shark ever having had sex. To be blunt, just cus she reproduces female genes, doesn’t mean she’s a virgin. It just means no males were involved in the creation of those particular offspring.


At any rate, let’s see how these creepy babies measure up against a golf pro’s progeny. I’m guessing that despite their gratifying creepiness, they won’t even muster par.


19 thoughts on “Adorable Baby Shark Pictures… As if.

  1. I’m so far out of the loop I didn’t know Tiger and Mrs. Tiger had a child. I have noticed pages of baby celeb photos lately, now I have an explanation.

    I think the baby sharks more interesting. They will never appear on Oprah, and that puts them in my good books. Sure, they’re creepy, but not as creepy as Tiger’s father.

  2. Baby tigers, baby sharks … it’s a predatory world out there in the womb.

    I’m alarmed by looking at my Referrer stats . . . several people have found my blog by typing the phrase “How long do you live after being diagnosed . . . ”

    Too long, apparently.

  3. I ‘ll be interested to see what sort of attention this brings you.

    Bit off topic here: I started eat, pray, love last night. I’m so enjoying it. I have a napping one year old and I’m going to take advantage of that and start reading it again. You know that a book is meant to be read when you walk into the bookstore to just look at it and can’t put it down. Thanks for the suggestion and I can’t wait to write a book break on it.

  4. stevo- I didn’t either, to tell you the truth, until I checked Yahoo Buzz. Is Tiger’s father creepy? I didn’t know.

    David- Heya, predatory… isnt it though? So…how long *do* they live, after being diagnosed? Huh? Huh? i wanna know. Give us some numbers.

    Robin- I’ll second that, with one notable exception. Baby Fatima, that little mite that the army found in the garbage pile in Iraq, you know? She’s something of a celebrity now, and she’s the freakin cutest thing I’ve seen lately. It’s rather heart-breaking.

    bibliomom- actually, Ive been getting some major hits for shark pictures. It’s going over way better than the sex-related blog hussying.

    I’m so glad you enjoy the book! I love Barbara Kingsolver best of all authors, but Elizabeth Gilbert actually topped her in my personal favorites for the weeks I was engrossed in that book. I’m happy you’re enjoying it. ;)

  5. Ohh and if you go to you can get some of this too. You can choose the internet search engine you want. Google trends has the information for Google that you mention.

  6. I vote for baby sharks. Now that I see them in their baby size, I realize they are adorable. You could start a baby shark craze, the way Finding Nemo started a clownfish craze.

  7. I once had the opportunity to snorkel into the cave of the sleeping sharks off of isla mujeres near cancun but declined. The sheer immensity of the ocean is enough of a challenge to my sanity to add these dogs of the deep to it.

  8. Cassiopia- Thanks for the information! I bookmarked it.

    ybonesy-There’s an idea. I just hope the easily influenced clown-fish people don’t get swept up in the shark-craze, or all those Nemos are going to find their fishtanks fraught with peril once more.

    dashofpanache- plus, it’s likely been done. I’m sure YouTube probably has a video somewhere of cute, cuddly shark eating wayward owner’s face.

    aos- isla…mujeres. mujeres. is that off Costa Rica? I’m thinking of ‘The Lost World’… the book, not the movie. They went to an island named after death I think. Isla Morte or something. I don’t blame you for passing on the shark swim.

    Paul- I stole your idea, and you were absolutely right. I am the number one search ranking for ‘adorable baby shark pictures’

  9. does it help at all to know that baby sharks are called “pups”? Just like baby wolves?

    I think you’re too hard on sharks. I knew a professsor of ornithology once and was talking to him about doing one of the whale-watching cruises and he expressed annoyance with the intrusive cruises and said “oh, leave the whales alone.”

    When I expressed an interest in seeing one of the highest forms of natural creation, he said he didn’t feel anything living thing was worth more or less than any other. “A whale doesn’t have any more worth that a head of lettuce,” he said.

    I like that. After all, an elephant may well feel superior to all other creatures because it’s bigger, an eagle because it flies higher, a giraffe because it’s taller, etc. So we think we’re superior for having higher IQs, but what evidence do we have that smarts endear us to the creator any more than a bubonic plague germ — or a hungry great white?

    At a gut level each of us knows our own life is worth more than that of whatever we’re about to eat, yeah?

    I guess you were talking about creepy more than intrinsic worth, so it’s a bit different.

    Ok, sorry for prattling on in your comments. And for what it’s worth, that ornithologist always thought it was OK for him to go poking about the nature preserves but the rest of us should stop pestering the birds he studied, too.

    Last thought: when I see the commercial trawlers harvest sharks by slicing off their fins and dumping their torsos in the water it drives me nuts. My liberal knees may not jerk often, but seeing that makes me wish the sharks had a fighting chance — and the creepier the odds were stacked in their toothy favor, the better.

  10. *laughs*

    I was gonna be lazy about comments today, but Ben, your impressions keep me on my toes.

    I kind of like your professor’s perspective from an objective point of view. Human beings are so self-central in their view of life on earth, more of us should hear that our existence ranks no higher or lower in the order than that of a dung beetle or a rhutabaga.

    But subjectively he’s off. There’s way more interest for these curious, wondering human brains that evolution strapped us with in the astounding slap of a whale’s tail hitting water, than in the zen-like ‘being’ of a cabbage.

    And you’re right, any species with awareness would think it’s own kind the most important, I’m sure. Either that or human beings are a particularly selfish kind of creature…which might be true, actually, as evidenced by our foul treatment of nature and other species on our blue-green orb.

  11. I LOOVE SHARKS!!!!!!!!!!they r soooo harmless and ppl think they r so bad but they r as just as important as dolphins

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