Wherein Harry Potter makes me a Hermit

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In 13 minutes, the East Coast will get their sweaty paws on ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’. In London, they’ve had the book for about 8 hours.

Oregon, we have a few more hours to wait.

The trouble, and it seemed genius at the time, is that our household ordered their copy on Amazon.com.

So it will be several more hours before it arrives. Now, while I trust my readers quite a lot, I realize the risk run of being on the blogosphere at this touchy time of the new release.

Spoiling the book has become an infamous pastime for Potter haters and arse-holes alike. There are those who take perverse delight in ruining the outcome for an avid muggle, by divulging plot points or publishing the end before a reader gets a chance to read.

It’s an oily, Snape-like thing to do. Such people should be strapped to a chair with a rabid cockatrice, and forced to watch The Mighty Ducks 400 times in a row. They should have petrified cat feces poked up their nose holes, and be involuntarily sterilized.

But that’s neither here nor there. The point is, I can’t *read* for a little while. Not till Harry Potter comes. I’m going to be utilizing my earplugs, I’m going to avoid looking at faces (lip-reading) and I’m going to stick to writing blogs and reading a select few that I trust not to publish spoiler information. I’m not even going to read my comments, so if you want to speak your mind consequence-free, now’s the time.

You wouldn’t think a widely loved series would prompt such antisocial behavior, but it’s for the best.

I do hope Hagrid lives.
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Update: It’s here! It’s here!

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14 thoughts on “Wherein Harry Potter makes me a Hermit

  1. I may be one of the only people not to have read at least one Harry Potter book. Does that make me less of a person? I would like to read the entire series but can only seem to find the Chinese editions. Go figure.

  2. Stevo, me and you, pal. And when my wife’s copy arrived this morning, she was ecstatic — so it ain’t like I can claim lack of access to a copy.

    About the only thing I’d even consider doing would be to turn to the last pages and read the finish so I — ack!
    * choke !*
    * sounds of strangulation*

    This is your amuirin administrator [in a soothing voice].
    Pay no attention to those twitching feet beneath computer desk. Kindly resume your regular commentary.

  3. May I join you, Stevo and Ben? I too have not read a single Harry Potter book. That’s why I’m posting this at such a late hour of the night — the shame of it has driven me into fretful insomnia. Is there a support group for folks like us?

  4. Since everyone else is owning up, I have to admit I haven’t read any of the Harry Potter books either.

    When and where does the support group meet?

  5. Well, since none of you have read it, I guess I can publish spoilers, huh?

    I’m done. seven hundred and somethin pages in 28 hours.

    when I blink, I can see the imprint of words behind my eyelids.

  6. I didn’t know people actually went out of their way to spoil the reading of HP but, of course, it is hardly surprising once you’ve been around people for a while. This contagion of literary anticipation is not new – Dickens’s works were often serialised in newspapers before publication as a book and each episode was keenly awaited, particularly in the USA where some weeks might pass as the newspapers traveled by ship. There is a story that when one such ship arrived in New York, people on the dock were yelling out to English passengers on board, “Did Little Dorrit die?”

  7. Pingback: Molo Dances While Former Employer Twists In The Wind « Unrealistic Expectations

  8. go for the spoilers. I’m dying to talk about it since my wife hasn’t read it yet. I am not allowed to utter a word of it at home.

    I also need to direct you to this post on a blog of a friend of mine, wherein I listed a number of people I believed would die with 100% accuracy… in june of last year!

    http://allenthehusband.wordpress.com/2006/06/27/jk-and-her-teases/#comments

    I’ll just pretend I didn’t say that thing about Sirius, cause that was totally wrong.

  9. Ha. Two more for the never read camp. That suprises me, I figured there’s be Potter fans all over my blogroll. Not that it matters.

    Slothboy- I looked. That’s impressive, how did you ever guess both Tonks and Lupin? That seemed just too mean in the book after their recent addition. Lupin was one of my favorite characters, that bit the big one.

    I guess I will be talkin bout the book on here, since none of the regs read it. One of the ghost contributors is a huge fan, and she’s done reading also, so we might be publishing our own little epilogues for certain characters since we found the book’s follow up completely unsatisfactory.

  10. I’m rereading them slowly at my leisure and will buy number 7 when my oldest gets done with number 6 which will probably be in about a week. They are fun.

    I just haven’t been reading your stuff since I’ve been not here. On the other hand, I may well be somewhat disappeared this coming weekend too. So, you can spoil as much as you feel like.

  11. I knew that there would be a lot of death in the last book. It seemed to be the way the series was headed. I figured Tonks and Lupin were expendable. If I had known they were gonna have a baby I would have probably not guessed that they both would get offed, but as it was I got lucky. I also had guessed, offline, that one of the Weasley twins would get killed because since there are two of them you could lose one. But I never wrote that down anywhere with a date stamp on it so I don’t expect people to believe me.

    I never saw Dobby coming though. That was rough. Honestly, the one that bugged me the most though was Colin Creevey. That really sucked.

    All in all a good end to the series. I could have used more in the epilogue. What does Harry do for a living? What became of Firenze since the other Centaurs eventually joined the battle? Who is the Hogwarts head master? Ah well, the ending left me wanting more, which I guess is what you are supposed to do.

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