like poking your eyes out with a shrimp fork

Reality t.v. sucks. Therefore, commercials MATTER. I don’t mean socio-economically, I mean for entertainment purposes.

I’m not someone who likes to watch the Law and Order or crime scene investigation shows. Well, the forensic investigation stuff is interesting, but I can’t keep the graphic images out of my brain when it’s time to sleep. I tried to watch WB’s ‘Supernatural’ a few times, but my then bf cut me off when I scared the piss out of myself and couldn’t sleep all night long.

So the offerings are limited. Reality t.v. is tragically boring most of the time. Even the skill ones- after you’ve seen that dance show 4 or 5 times you’re just watching more and more hours of the same couples cutting a rug. You’re invested enough to keep tuning in, but it doesn’t take particularly frenetic brain activity to watch some dude dip a diva (not very deep). I find it hard to be entertained.

So I’ve become hyper-critical of commercials. I hate poorly turned out commercials. A stupid commercial is unforgivable. People are gonna watch an ad spot several more times than they’ll watch a sitcom. It needs to be funny and interesting several times in a row. There’s no excuse for a bad ad. I rely on those cavemen to wake me up after 8 and a half minutes of Top Chef. Volkswagen, where did you go? Honda’s ad campaign is frightfully insufficient to fill the niche between MickeyD’s and Geico. Comeback, VW, come back.

Subway’s been churning out some decent ones finally, after subjecting the world to Jared for longer than should have been technically legal. I like their latest where this dude is screaming, ‘I won! I won!’ while he sloshes his soda all over the family sitting next to him. Now *that’s* entertainment.

There is one program I can still count on, even though we’re in the dark days of post-West Wing, post-Gilmore Girls reality bonzai.

Scrubs. Scrubs is on like 11 times a day on different channels, and I looooove it. I love them. I used to see the Scrubs commercials and go, ‘Who would ever watch a show that freakin’ idiotic?’ Then I saw it by accident, and realized I did not understand the subtle nuance of the show. The retardation is a front for a fantastically funny ensemble performance. Me heart Scrubs.

This episode was on tonight; you hafta watch both clips to get the whole scene. I’m subjecting you to it for your own good. Something’s gotta break up the bachelor/Idol/BigBrother monotony. And commercials just can’t be counted on.

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9 thoughts on “like poking your eyes out with a shrimp fork

  1. I have to say, I’m not a fan of SCRUBS, and I really have tried it. However, I know it’s got a die-hard following, so I just assume there’s some sort of brilliance to it that I’m missing, and not that it sucks.

    Shows I like:

    The Simpsons, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, The Office (both BBC and NBC versions), Family Guy, South Park, and, on occasion, 30 Rock. SNL has been really mediocre lately, so it’s off my list. Also, I don’t get HBO, so I have to sit around and wait for shows like Deadwood and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

    I can honestly say I’ll never take commercials seriously enough to review them, however. ;) Kudos to you for paying attention between the breaks.

  2. I’ve tried SCRUBS too but I can’t really get into it. Since I only have one channel that comes in I’m somewhat limited in my television shows (not a bad thing as it forces my daughters and I to do other thing plus we just watch DVD’s) but I’m going to confess to something I’m anything but proud of. I’ve been watching every episode of that horrible Age of Love show. It’s like heroin, yet not as good. You’d think I’d be ashamed to admit to it but I’m tired of living with shame.

  3. My daughter and I used to watch Fear Factor together. It was a bonding nighttime ritual. We’d pick who we thought would win. She liked the gross parts and thought the stunts would be doable. And for her they might be. I liked how Joe interacted with the contestants in a very pomo way. He never hid the fact that he thought some of them were freaks for going through with some of the cuisinal stunts. He just trashed that “this is good entertainment and we are all good people” bullshit that is in most of the reality shows and put in the “this is demented and who in their right mind would eat rotten ratguts anyway?” And I’m on the verge of a rant about my most hated show of all time “Extreme Makeover” with the Ty the Wonderdog. The ultimate in the cryporn of American television.

  4. D.Peace- Those are pretty much all great shows. Particularly The Daily Show, I’d marry Jon Stewart if he hadn’t made the regrettable choice of asking someone else before he asked me.

    So are you gonna try out the Simpson’s Movie? I must say, the commercials for it are making me laugh.

    bibliomom- Ha! I’ve seen it, ‘The Age of Love’. I didn’get addicted but I’d probably watch it again. From what little I saw, the 40’s had it all over the 20’s. They were fun and relaxed and actually talked to eachother. The 20’s were so awkward around the guy, and catty toward eachother in the interviews.

    What better place to admit things than here. Blogosphere is like half science/lit/art all that, and the other half thriving confessional. *nods*

    aos- Oh, I can’t watch that show without getting squeamish, but I can see the appeal of an announcer who actually speaks his mind. Some of the hosts of these shows are so insipid. On the verge of a rant you say? By all means do it, I’ll probably feel deprived now if you don’t issue forth with a good howl about Extreme Makeover.

    If you don’t want to put it on your blog, there’s always the hate mail thread.
    \/ down there.

  5. Hong Kong has maybe five PSAs they play in an evil loop. There are very few real commercials. How many times can you listen to a cultured British voice tell you, “Mosquitoes breed in stagnant water.”

    I high point for me was watching some Jerry Springer someone had found. I had missed the daytime personal injury law commercials.

  6. Of course I’ll be seeing the Simpsons movie. :) That’s actually the only summer blockbuster I care about this year.

  7. seriously… have we met?
    or have you just been stalkin me?
    again?

    oh and you have GOT to check out studio 60 on the sunset strip.
    most of the WW energy with enough carry over to almost make you think it was a natural progression.

    I dont know if i’ll ever get ‘into’ scrubs, but based on this, and your feverish endorsement, i’ll give it another open-minded screening. Its possible that I was simply in the mood for something deeper (which is rare, granted) when i surfed across it and discounted it as a non-cgi version of king-of-the-hill or something.

    or is it and i’m wrong about that too?

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