This hasn’t turned out to be a day where I can afford to give a dingo’s turd about much. And that’s the good news.
I’ve been inspired lately to try and consider, if only momentarily, just what exactly I’m grateful for. It’s easy to focus on the negative, especially when it’s right there kicking you in the teeth, so this is a list but also an attempt to wrangle vegetables out of an invidious pest patch; an act of plucking the gold tooth from the murderous tiger; a straining of raw bits of sunshine from the black, radioactive ash of a nuclear winter. (Was that last one over-reaching? I can never tell.)
1. I am grateful for physical health.
2. I am very grateful for family and friendships
4. The West Wing (on dvd)
5. For nature, and changing weather
6. The ability all people have to escape into sleep
7. The certainty of change, and the possibility that it entails
9. this one’s a little long-winded, but you know how when you’re down or when you’ve been letting someone
get you that way, you start to believe you look bad? It’s not conscious, you just picture yourself in a bad way. I accidentally looked in the mirror today while smiling, and I was startled! I looked… cute. I was…human. There was nothing wrong with me. I wasn’t ugly or dark or shuttered, I was cute! And then I realize people have told me this, positive words have come in, I just sort of filtered them out. Like I was saving my attention for someone who only ever offers bad stuff.
So for those people, and for that strange moment with the smile: Thanks.