Tiger makes Christmas snack of tourist

Holy crabcakes, batman… have you seen the news? Here is it Christmas, and I decide to file away my post-excess blankness into a little cat-nap.

Cat-nap: Yeeeaugh- turns out a tiger made a snack of some poor guy in San Francisco. Say what?! Yep. This kinda shit only happens in the movies, but no… a crazy-ass Siberian tiger managed to escape from the San Francisco Zoo of all places, and mauled some poor visitor to pieces.

The blood-thirsty ‘Tatiana’ (according to KTVU) didn’t stop there but critically injured two other men in their twenties before making a fatal spring at police weilding handguns.

Bye bye tiger.

 

This might not be the most appropriate place to state that Siberian tigers are beautiful, awesome creatures, though they are. Apparently, Tatiana had developed a taste for human blood last year when she mauled the arm of a zoo-keeper.

If you watch any Animal Planet at all, you know the most dangerous of any wild-creatures to the human race are those that have had a former opportunity to snack on human flesh. Once a lion or a tiger becomes a man-hunter, they’re unlikely to ever quit the habit. Why should they? Human beings are plentiful and not all that particularly bright. Once an animal has identified bi-pedal primates as a valid food source, there’s no reason for it to stalk more difficult game that our species have made rare and skittish.

A tiger in captivity, however, is a beast of a different stripe. What caused Tatiana to stalk and viciously ravage human beings for her Christmas dinner? And um, just out of curiosity, how’d she manage to escape from her cage at the San Francisco Zoo? I suspect some rather in-depth investigations into the care and handling of San Fran’s wild-life will be unfolding in the weeks to come.

Lord knows, even a zoo needs a scape-goat. Read the story here.