To Grandma Maxine from Sierra P.
One day Grandpa Richard woke up in the morning and felt good, but grandpa didn’t feel like he had any arms or legs. Grandpa Richard was in love with a newspaper. Grandpa Richard was reading the newspaper when a giant bug that was a spider ate Grandpa Richard with his newspaper. When the spider ate grandpa and the newspaper, the spider spit out grandpa and the newspaper and Grandpa Richard and the spider became friends.
Sierra P. That’s my name:
Heres the title of a brand new story: When Gracie and Jordy fell in love.
One day in the morning, Jordy woke up and said, “I want doggie food.”
Then Gracie woke up and said, “I, Gracie, want to eat cat food.”
And Jordy walked to his dish bowl, he accidentaly bumped into Gracie. Gracie did not like Jordy bumping into her, so she gave Jordy a scratch on the nose. Jordy howled untill his nose was okay. Gracie did not like Jordy howling, so she went under the deck.
Jordy stopped howling and followed her under the deck.
They apologized and were friends forever. Jordy took Gracie on a date.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
unreasonably attractive heroine: (riding a steed behind a strapping stud-muffin. They are both red faced, engaged in an argument) “Don’t be a futzy bitch, Lothario.”
Lothario- *waves baton, rather grandly*
2nd Merchant Marine- “Doff. Garstblatt, if he didn’t purloin the sticky beaver, I’ll be a chicken’s eyelid.”
1st Merchant Marine- “Whot?”
unreasonably attractive heroine: *pulls the reigns and poses for the marines benefit.* “Those men over there are staring at me.”
Lothario- ”To be fair my sweet, you are exposing an acreage of bosom that would put a ship’s prow to shame.”
unreasonably attractive heoine: ”I don’t like posessive men, Lothario. And I don’t care to be stared at.”
Lothario- ”But you don’t seem to mind if you blind them.”
2nd Merchant Marine- “Awt. The wench fair to haggle him into living purgatory with her bland irons.”
1st Merchant Marine- “Whot?”
Lothario- *sigh* “Alright, I’ll dispatch them if it will amuse you, precious.”
unreasonably attractive heroine- *tosses hair angrily* Not on my account, surely. I wouldn’t want you to lift a finger for my comfort. Nay. Save your favors for a giggling milk-maid….”
Lothario- *guts one of the merchant marines, boredly* “Nothing’s good enough for you, is it, love? If I make an effort at your request you blame me for not divining it! The milk maid idea isn’t a bad one. I wonder if she’d parade a bodice so tattered and ripped before coarse rogues…”
1st Merchant Marine- *staring confused at his dripping viscera* “Whot?!?”
2nd Merchant Marine- “Must high-tail it mate. The plebian took his steel from his knicker. Not that I’d leave you half spilt but for my own fair imagining of a life less blistered…”
unreasonably attractive heroine- “For god sakes, the mouthy one! Skewer the mouthy one!”
Lothario- (swings and misses as the fellow runs away) “You did not state a preference, madam! I am not a mind reader! If you wish me to think in your presence, then cover yourself! We aren’t in Paris.”
unreasonably attractive heroine- ”I shall write it in long hand next time! I will print it in folio and have it read to you in advance, lest you risk smiting the maiden and leave the dragons intact to eat the township. I had no idea you needed counsel to guide you in matters of valor!”
Lothario- *mutters* “Would that I could have confused that the first time.”