Season’s Greetings!

I hope you’re all having a bunch of fun. I assume I am at the moment, though I wrote this four days ahead of time, so there’s no way of knowing if the car broke down and we’re eating bark for breakfast, or if a virus broke out in my absence that lead to wide spread withering of the eyeballs.

Having withered eyeballs would likely suck a lot.

I miss my weeble wordsmiths… Actually, I don’t right now, I spent all afternoon trying to catch up with your insanely prolific blogging habits and I think my brain is bleeding. But this is the future, so it’s possible I’ve started to miss you once again.

Anyway. I was going to write sensitive, personal Christmas greetings, but I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I also don’t know whose Jewish, whose Christian, whose atheist, and whose huddling on a window ledge in a reindeer pullover vowing to end it all if they hear one more trite Hallmark sentiment. So in the spirit of safety and inclusion, I will instead go for unobtrusively weird personal greetings.

barbara- Have a holly, jolly, winter solstice season.

Benji- May the meerkat of truth look down on you, and spare your sweaters.

bibliomom- I hope your holiday is filled with sparkly stuff that proves washable.

C.- Ses stanco? no? thought you would say that.  Be safe, happy and well.

David- May you find tidbits of happiness in the gold-toes of your favorite socks.

flannpakes- If life were a waffle… but it isn’t… but if it were… you’d be genuine Vermont maple syrup… except, you know, you’d still be able to talk, and I wouldn’t eat you… but still.

gingaTao!- Your blog was an early Christmas present. Gracias! So what will you give me for Valentine’s Day?

J- The book of life is long and gilt edged. I hope your journey lacks any semblance of a papercut.

Jaynova- For your present, I’m not going to make a Kucinich joke in this space.

Julian- You are the fizzy stuff that bubbles up in my nose when I laugh too hard while drinking coca-cola.

lilli- Artists and writers make the world go round. On behalf of the axis, I thank you.

Mad Haiku- Happy Holidays
………… see how the syllables fit?
…………….five, seven, five-

. *counts* Dammit.

Molo- It’s not mistletoe, it’s celery. Draw your own conclusions.

OnePoet- Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like Beth’s Doll Emporium.

QuoinMonkey- Buy a bigger stocking. I put in a good word with the big guy, (Elvis) on your behalf.

Robin- I hope your year is full of joy and cheer, and that you manage to resist the siren call of cat-blogging with noble valor.

Ron- Merry Tuesday. Go forth in the direction of my pygmy warrior.

Pamplemousse- I hope leisure and fun planned a successful ambush on your person.

P. Sunstone- May your reflective nature and a strategically placed mirror make the northern lights appear in the totally wrong hemisphere for one and one half hours.

Slothboy- May peace, joy and vintage Star Wars toys be with you this season.

Smiler- I adopted a koala in the name-a-marsupial registry in your honor. His name is Harpo Redboots.

T.I.V.- Tomorrow is the last day before another tomorrow. Oi! Celebrate!

ybonesy- Before I return home, I want you to paint a portrait of me that highlights my similarities to Marilyn Munroe. I don’t really expect you to do that, but have a happy holiday, anyway.